Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan Blues

Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan Blues

After reading all of the replies to Guitar 101’s question about the religious beliefs of members of this web site, I began looking for the following song and I have finally found it.
Paul J. Willett (who wrote the words in 1982) lives in Los Angeles, California. This song is supposed to be sung to the tune of "The Richter Scale" (yes, the Richter who invented a scale for measuring earthquakes).


Signing up for graduate school turned out to be an ordeal.
Forms and cards and questionnaires, each one of them some big deal.
When finally the last form I saw I got a tad irate.
My religious preference they wanted me to state.

I am a Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan.
Every other Tuesday though, I worship Israel’s Begin.
My sect is quite a singular one, my feelings are devout.
I want my group known ‘round the school, I want to have some clout.

The response was new to them, it put them in a dither.
Bureaucrats went scurrying ‘round, running yon and hither.
Finally came the section head to look into the row.
Came to me and made her stand, she said she wished to know,

"Are you a Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan?
Who every other Tuesday will worship Israel’s Begin?
Have you gone mad? Have you gone nuts? Could you have had a fit?
I’m sending you upstairs to see my boss. Be done with it!"

And so I went to see the man in charge of registration.
When I got done he started typing up his resignation.
His final words to me before he totally lost his mind
Were, "We’ll all be doomed if we don’t stop perversions of your kind."

"You are a Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan.
You hold a service twice a month to worship Israel’s Begin.
This situation I can’t judge, it just might be obscene.
All I can do with this case now is send it to the Dean.

And so I worked my way through the bureaucratic system.
At every stage their system crashed as my religion blitzed ‘em.
Advisors, deans, and chancellors all saw their plans break down,
‘Till at last I hit the top and met with Jerry Brown.

"So you’re the Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan!
Why do you meet once in a while to worship Israel’s Begin?
Why can’t you be a normal man and join a normal sect?
Like TM, Zen, the Druids, Scientology, or EST?

Just then a great disaster struck and forced my church to collapse.
Earthquakes took our San Diego, wiping it from the maps.
Sagan’s "Cosmos" royalties caused him to lose his head.
Reagan became senile, so I think my gods are dead.

But now…..

I’m into Mister Magoo-R2D2-Do-As-I-Do-Voodoo,
Every week we have a meeting where we praise Cthulhu.
They found no problems with that when I went to re-apply.
I’m in the program even though I can’t determine why!

Re: Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan Blues

fauxcelt - You were disgruntled the other day. Now you have been re-gruntled. Hallelujah!

Re: Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan Blues

Thank you Wolfbird. I have heard of Mark Davis but I haven’t read any of his books yet.
Thank you fidkid. When I was eighteen, a friend gave me a copy of several verses of "That Real Olde Tyme Religion". I still have them because I still enjoy reading them.
Nicholas, since I am beyond professional help, it is probably impossible to re-gruntle me. Actually, I am more puzzled and confused than anything else.

Re: Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan Blues

Here are some more verses about religion. Since I am not completely sure who to blame these on, I won’t give credit to anyone or mention any names.


My name is Jesus, the son of God.
I come from Heaven to save your bod.

Our names are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
We wrote the Gospels to put you on.

My name is Moses—just call me Mo’.
I carve stone tablets ten cents a throw.


(to the tune of a certain dog food commerical)
My God’s better than your God,
My God’s better than yours.
My God’s better ‘cause
He’s got eight legs.
My God’s better than yours.

My God’s better ‘cause
He eats dead souls
He wears glasses
He eats lollipops
He’s a jellybean
He shoots thunderbolts
He ‘s invisible
She’s African-American


(to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Jesus puts his money in the First National Bank,
Jesus puts his money in the First National Bank,
Jesus puts his money in the First National Bank.
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

Jesus walks on water, He’s the lifeguard at our pool.
Jesus walks on water, He’s the lifeguard at our pool.
Jesus walks on water, He’s the lifeguard at our pool.
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

Re: Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan Blues

one from the old school lunch hour:
God is great, God is good,
Rah, Rah,God!

Re: Ronald Reagan-Carl Sagan-San Diegan-Pagan Blues

…so I moved into some new digs this weekend and I’m sitting in the local coffee shop using the free internet because the high speed internet installer doesn’t come until tomorrow morning.

Now THIS is some Sunday morning reading!

All praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!

http://www.venganza.org/