Asked to play at a funeral?

I was talking to this old fella last night in my local pub, I think he’s about 80. He lives near me and he knows I’m a musician because he’s seen and heard me play and sing before in the pub and other places.

He said, “ I don’t want to sound morbid but I’d like you to play at my funeral.” He loves music and does a bit of singing himself.

Well I was quite touched that he asked me , and said straight away I’d do it. He’s already got his funeral planned to the last detail paid for it,laid food and drinks on in the pub for all his friends.
Then he asked me to spell “funeral”, and stopped me after the first 3 letters . . .

We have done two dances to mark the anniversary of someones death - any excuse for a party?

I got this song from Ian Hill via www.folkcast.co.uk. (http://www.wovenwheatwhispers.co.uk/Label-Review-Ian_Hill.htm)
Not sure if it is trad or original. It fits to the tune of “the tee-totaller”. Bit of a “finnegin’s wake” sort of song…

The Funeral
- Ian Hill
- tune “the Tee-totaller”

Well I got an invitation for to go up to a funeral,
But to my sad misfortune now the fellow didn’t die.
The manager he said that he was vexed in disappointing us
But he apologised and asked that we Might let the thing go by
To make up for disappointing us he took us in and treated us
He bought us pints of porter for a Company of ten
Until one fellow questioned him who’s Money he was squandering
So he put that fellow’s eye lid into mourning there and then.

Now the owner of the beer-shop when he saw the squabble coming
He gave orders to evict us, but of Course we did refuse
So he whistled Up Some loungers who were sitting in the Corner.
And for ten or fifteen minutes we were badly abused
Then we left the beer-shop and down the street did stagger.
And a gang a corner boys Started pelting us with mud,
We told them to go easy and they said that they were doing so
And so we turned on them and left them lying were they’d stood.

Now the next thing that we met with was a gang of salvationers.
They rifled all our pockets and they asked us were we saved.
And Dominic McGinty was invited to the Station
For enquiring of a police man if. His appetite was shaved
To make Up McGinty’s bail we all took of our under shirts
And off to the pawn Shop we took the jolly lot.
We asked for ten and Sixpence the price to free McGinty
But he’s had enough already was the answer that we got

So we got the ten and Sixpence and went off to free McGinty
But the devil take the beer-shop that met us on the way
For we couldn’t pass the Corner without taking some refreshment
And we spent every Penny of the fine we had to pay.
Then we bought a Concertina for to make for high hilarity
But none of us could play it though we tried our best and worst.
We knocked a lot of noise from it if it was any benefit
We handled it so gentle that the bellows it did burst

We got some hot potatoes for to mend the Concertina
And then someone hit Maloney with The Carcase of a cat
He fiddled Up his Whiskers and began to read the riot act
He swore he’d put two heads upon the villain who’d did that
Then Maloney hit Mc ginty and McGinty hit some other man
And everyone hit anyone to whom he owed a spite
And the crippled MacNamara who was sitting saying nothing
Got a kick that burst his eye for not indulging in the fight

The drinking it was innocent the sense was nearly out of us
And for a bit of rioting we quickly did prepare
We battered one and other ’til we weren’t worth three hap pence
And I’m sure there was a carpet on the floor of skin and hair
We battered one and other ’til the police separated us
They marched us of to jail with broken noses and black eyes
They marched us off to jail and for me it was a lesson
For to never go to funerals until the fellow dies

I hope you copied and pasted the above song . . cos I won’t be doing that one . . . no, he wants me to sing a couple of George Formby songs as I play a ukullele . . not exactly Irish is he Geoff ?

Did he mean at the actual body burning, burying or dumping ceremony or back at the pub / house/ caravan park afterwards?

In my experience funerals often turn in to quite a party, especially if the dead character was well loved/ hated.
Usually the more sombre the business at the church/ mosque/ synagogue/ crem/ boat is, then the more “wa-hay” the business back at the pub/ house/ bier keller is. By the way always say, “Yes” when invited back to the house.

If you’re going to play at the church/ mosque/ synagogue/ crem/ boat it could be weird but back at the house/ pub/ special hospital, I’m sure it will be a groove!!

But for this gig make sure he pays the band in advance and don’t accept a cheque.

Oh I think he wants me to play at the church service . . and then have a singsong after in the pub with his friends . . and its me on my own I won’t be playing with anyone . . as for payment well he’s allready payed for the beer !

It must be the dying season as I was also asked by a fella lastnight if I would play at his pals funeral next tuesday afternoon. I will sing the macca classic

Leprocy, I’m not half the man I used to be,
there are pieces falling off of me, oh leprocy came suddenly,

How about Knock on Wood? . . i’ve a feeling its going to be a long night . . .

Wrap me up in me oilskins and jumper………….as my
old master mariner mate used to sing---so we did.
R.I.P Bob.

That long song above, or a version of it, used to be sung by Robin Morton, back in his Boys of the Lough days….ah, happy memories……last line of the first verse was “The fellow took his wallet out, we didn’t ask again.”
Always go, if asked, we know of a lady who’s already booked musicians for her funeral.
My request is, I want a party, maybe a ceilidh, not a funeral, and only wear black if you look drop-dead gorgeous in it.

PS Only ever got booked for the wake of a company, not a person. They held it on the Friday afternoon, didn’t trust the (ex-)employees to come back in the evening….

I played at a friend’s cremation last week. I had recorded a tape but it turned out that the family preferred it live. He was the usual musician for our sword dance team when performing longsword. I used his melodeon and played once through the slower of the dance tunes followed by the marching off music. It was quite nerve wracking keeping both my face and hands under control and I was worried about the appropriate point to start even though I played as the mourners left the chapel.

All I can say is in that situation mae sure you’ve rehearsed.

I’ve also played at a wake in the presence of the deceased but that was a session and a much less formal setting.

Yeah- I’ve had the disconcerting experience of being asked by a couple of friends to play for their future funerals. One I could understand, the gentleman being well into his eighties, but the other was a female friend in her mid to late 30’s. THAT was the one that gave me a double-take. No, she isn’t expecting to die any time soon, just wants me to play when she does (assuming I’m still around too).
Anyway, I will be glad to do so.