Should we be more considerate to kill joys?

I play and sing in a folk club, a bit of everything including some Irish stuff.Once a year (this friday actually) ,the folk club go away together for a weekend of music and drink. We’re going to Scarbourgh and staying Friday/Saturday night in this pub and we’ll be playing in the bar downstairs.

Last year we hired a youth hostel for the weekend, brought in our own booze etc . . anyway on the Friday night we were all sat round playing and generally having a good time.

We started playing about 9 o‘clock, it got to 11 o’clock and this couple decided to go to bed . . fair enough, goodnight. Most of us ,more than 50% . . can’t remember exactly carried on till about 2 ’clock ?

To be honest one musician in particular was pi***ed as a fart, and began singing quite loudly when it was his turn.

The next night before we started to play again the organiser made an announcment that (and I think it was this couple who had gone to bed early), because someone had complained they couldn’t go to sleep, all music would finish at 12 midnight that night.

This couples room must have been directly above where we were playing.

This is my point . . I know we should all be considerate to others, but for gods sake this weekend is about enjoyment and LETS PARTY, a chance to let you hair down. For someone to say Iv’e got to be in bed by 12, well . . .

I only start to get warmed up after a couple of hours . . I could play all night sometimes when I get the buzz.
It ought to have been made clear from the start, that is, if you come on this weekend you should be prepared for a bit of noise and late nights . . if you don’t like it don’t bother coming, If you want a quiet relaxing weekend head off to the hills, its peacfull there.
And there’s always earplugs, I’m taking some cos I know my room mate snores like an elephant.

Is it me . . am I being unreasonable and inconsiderate?

It might be better this year for the complainers, because the accomodation might be some distance from where we are playing.

If a time limits put on again this year, I won’t be going anymore . .

I think you’ve answered your own question? I was thinking exactly what came up in your second comment, that it would be best, to accomodate all sorts, to have the venue for the merrymaking separate from the sleeping quarters.

Missing ‘consideration’ would be a shame either way ~ as someone would miss out. Either that couple, who may need their sleep, for whatever reason or habit, and you who want to carry on into the wee hours. Separating the one from the other means no one has to be left out, everyone wins, the needs of the body and the spirit are met for all concerned.

So, who’s fault is the upset this last time ~ theirs on the first night, yours on the second (probably neither of you alone in this) ~ as usual, it is down to poor planning…probably by committee? ~ and not fully scoping out the location to start with.

I know one group in Eire who were walkers / hikers and musicians and decided to spend a few days in a particular hostel, without finding out anything about it other than its beautiful location. Well, they came fully loaded with musical instruments only to find out that there was a quiet time, no noise after 9 at night… However, they made the best of it anyway, and found a pub not too far away to make music in… 😉

Hey, you could do the barns here in Lancashire, have a ‘quiet’ barn and a ‘noisy’ barn ~ but maybe that’s roughing it too much for your lot? I know, we need our little luxuries as we grow old… 😛

I take your point, but sometimes its physically imposible to seperate the sleepers from the players . .

At the very first or maybe second Fiddle Festival in Edinburgh, there was a late night session in the hotel where the artists were staying.

In the early hours of the morning, one of the artists…she was top of the bill, I believe…came downstairs in her dressing gown to complain about the noise. Everybody else was having a rare old time.

Needless to say, she has never been asked back since. 🙂

I’ll not name and shame but here’s a little clue…..

https://thesession.org/tunes/727

That reminds me John of Mr. Spock once saying before he died in a chamber full of radiation . . “It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

Go forth and prosper . . .

Far worse than these complainers are the beginner whistle players I encountered one year at the East Durham festival. They were so dedicated that they woke up a half hour before breakfast was served, and got in some practice sitting on the lawn outside my room. Two whistles, not quite in tune, not quite in command of the melody, not quite able to master those notes in the upper octave. Same tune over and over and over……………
Ouch!!!!!!!!!

Its not clear if you were awake or not before they started playing . .

Going back to your initial post stewpot--Yes !
How ungallant of you John J.

I was awake by the time they finished, Stewpot!!!!!

If you mean Yes I am being inconsiderate? . . . sorry but if I’m going to travel 200 miles and have to be in bed by 12 o ’clock . . well I’ll stay at home . .

So much for the philosophy of keeping music live and available to everyone . .

Better way booy--as they say in these yer parts !

Didn’t know they talked Welsh in N Devon . . we say “nar then cock” up here !!

Disagree with the above. People who go off with a bunch of musos, drinkers to boot, should have thought very carefuly about the late night playing music aspect. No in fact, they shouldn’t really have to think carefully. It’s a given. Going away a weekend with a bunch of heads invariably means late nights, dry mouths and sore heads in the morning. It beggars belief that they could have thought otherwise. Where have they been all their lives? I can only presume this shower have never been to any fleadhs or festivals before, or even lock-in sessions. Keep up the late nights Stew and to hell with the begrudgers.

Broad Lancashire really, but engaged in missionary work sin
1965.

Sometimes you just have to lay it out before everyone, and dot the i’s… If it is more important that you have late nights, then you warn folks in the promotion that things aren’t going to wrap up early just because one or two folks need their beauty sleep. Some people just take that for granted, so you need to tell them it ain’t necessarily so, or on a list of things to bring ~ EAR PLUGS!!!

But, if you want it open, and maybe even ‘family’, then you need to plan ~ Plan ~ PLAN!!! I’ve known some really nice ‘sticks-in-the-mud’ (alias killjoys), and while there were not the best of company late at night, they made up for it at other times. Being ‘inclusive’, we all have our failings, may mean not going any damn place you care to go to, but to places that will accommodate more needs ~ like a variety of venues.

We used to run an annual camp ~ and we always had a late night bonfire and music and song, but, we had cabins away from the worst of our carry on, and folks could reserve a space there if they cared to get early shut-eye, and there were a few other places to escape our hollerin‘ and all, if need be. We did get carried away, just a bit ~ leapin’ about the bonfire and over it, and shouting when we missed… That was a family event, all ages ~ and as planned and prepared for… But, there’s always the unexpected, and sometimes we had to break down and tell someone to Feck Off! ~ though maybe in more diplomatic ways…

I think planning to have a place to stay for those people who want to sleep while the music is going on is usually the best situation. A festival I’ve been to has camping sections for late-night music and for late-night quiet. Past a certain hour, music can only carry on in the late-night music place. It seems to work well.

That being said, killjoys are never any fun -- especially when a couple people force an entire group into retiring early.

Being the type who usually prefers a quiet sleep sometime before dawn, I can tell you that there is nothing worse than tossing and turning in your bunk fighting the urge to go down and ask for quiet, knowing that if you give in to it you will be laughed at. I don’t think most people who do this do it lightly or out of meanness.

If you’re organising something like this, spare a thought for those who like thier shut-eye earlier and organise a space for them.

“Fiddle Festival in Edinburgh” - John J, you must know that all Canadians go to bed early. We have to get up early to milk the buffalo.

The one thing we can never fully appreciate or understand are the things that impose on life that can make any of us a killjoy at one point or another. Some folks, however, grow into it while others are born to it, and then there’s those that grow out of it…

I know it is an extreme case, but I well remember one sour puss p*ssin‘ on our celebrations, in this story a landlord of a pub. He was on a ’bitch-n-moan‘ run and we were the subjects of his derision and aspersions. He basically ended up refusing to serve us and chasing us out of the place and closing up early. We later found out that the night previous he’d walked in on his wife and best friend ’doing it’ behind the bar… That killed his joy and he was out to squeeze the joy out of anything else he could for spite…

Life isn’t always kind, and sometimes that overflows and imposes shadows that can suck the joy out of a flower… I know it is hard saying and practicing it but allowing for others, to a point, is what hospitality in part is about… I long to practice that, hospitality and welcome and patience, and to try to provide, within reason, for the needs of a variety of folks, like having a vegetarian option, or a quiet area.

That said, we were always clear as we could be about what any activity we were involved in was about. We never planned or designed anything to please everyone, just to accomodate some variety of personalities. Those that didn’t fit were rare, but we didn’t deal with it behind their backs, we, or I should say ‘I’, with others prodding me from behind, the designated ‘as*hole’, had to confront those rare exceptions and tell them that maybe there was something somewhere else that would better suit their personality and wants. So, basically ‘F-off!’

The Swaledale Squeeze has the session to end all sessions - around 40-50 concertinas all going at once - much more raucous than any singers.
Even here, the kill-joys complained - not because they wanted to sleep, but because some people (guess who) played too fast (and)/or didn’t stick to keys of C and G.
Organising an extra-slow round-the-room session in the next room soon sorted out the kill-joys.

18th to 20th May, 2007 in Grinton, Swaledale, UK - a whole weekend of concertina - see you there

To answer the original question -
No, nay, never; altogether now………