When some eedjit starts playing your instrument without asking…

What would YOU do?
…Mind you, the instrument in question is a Yamaha P140 digital piano - a piece of plastic, metal, and electronics from Japan, not a 200-year-old fiddle that I got from my grandad. And I twisted the arms of a couple of my mates, that I know to be decent piano players, to take her for a spin, check ’er out, and spell me, if I didn’t know the tune, or wanted a break to go pee/drink/smoke/flirt/play guitar. AND I let a punter (who’s a budding harpist) play my old Martin, after we’d chatted for a while.
All the cat had to do was ask, and he would have been welcome to take a turn…but I gave him what for, with lots of the “F” word thrown in. (Welcome to Deetroit…)
It turned a wonderful evening of hanging out with my friends and playing tunes into something else. I’m trying to calm down, but that kind of stupidity just enrages me.

I just wish that it hadn’t happened.

Sorry, good folk, but I just needed to rant…

Agreed!

You should never pick up or play anyone else’s instrument (at a session, or elsewhere) unless that person is a mate and you are absolutely certain that they wouldn’t mind.

The value of the instrument (historical or monetary) is irrelevant. It’s a matter of courtesey (and possibly also hygene, if it’s a mouth-blown instrument).

I can tolerate it , if it is a fellow sessioneer, who more than likely is an "eejit ’ anyway, or at the very best a good natured retard. However, a drunken yobbo grabbing your instrument
while your on a break is a different bucket of pilchards altogether, on par with touching your wife innapropriately ( well not quite ), and I believe you have to at least retrieve the instrument at lightning speed. If this is not possible, then its on for young and old, and whatever the outcome, you have defended your instrument and maintained your honour. Slim.

I get mad when people try without asking. Can’t tolerate it at all. I think the “touching the wife” analogy is good, the difference being that I usually let people play my instruments if they ask…

You can touch my wife, and you can touch my instrument, but you can’t touch my wife’s instrument.

Summary of thoughts, thus far:

- Not your instrument
- Not your wife
- Not your motorbike (Yamaha)

Pontus - how good is that analogy of yours? Can someone touch your wife if they first ask permission, then? 😉

The policy at our folk club sessions is to advise unknowns who ask to borrow an instrument to bring their own along next week.
People who pick up an instrument without permission get very short shrift - I had to intervene on my brother’s behalf when some hippy took his dumbek (shuddup, it was a very big, eclectic session) at a festival night - the brother was ready to slap him upside his poncho.

If someone no body knew picked up an instrument, you’d know for sure, even before they made a sound, that they can’t play. Because anyone who can play would never do such a thing. So they wouldn’t be advised to bring their own next week, they’d be told to feck off and never come back.

I don’t know why, but if someone picks up any of my yokes it really gets on my thrupney bits. Big time. I think it is the basic lack of manners, but maybe something more than that. The wife thing is a bit of a stretched analogy but it is something like that. If only they’d ask.

I suppose also, on self reflection, I would never dream of doing that to anyone elses instrument. And Michael is right. They most often are numpties who can’t play anyway.

This issue requires discussion? Has civilization taken a holiday?
I see no gray areas at all --- but my upbringing included the concept, “If it is not yours, hands off.”
(Along with a lot of other things kids are not taught today)

I cannot even bring myself to simply “help myself” in a music shop, not till I have asked. So, what kind of fool would do so at a sessionm with someone’s personal property?
Were it me, it would likely be, “GIve me an apology or show me your back. Now.”

Oh and by the way, if someone did ask I’d be more than happy to let them have a go - under supervision. And I’d expect the same in return - to get a go of someone elses instrument if I asked politely…ok I wouldn’t EXPECT it but I’d feel slightly insulted and humiliated if refused. As has happened in the past. Maybe I expect too much of peoples goodwill….

I don’t like it, because they can usually play it better than me!

Yeah, i’ve gone mad at people for it before. Their normal reaction is one of surprise and indignation - they can’t understand why I am p*ssed off.

Then there was the session where a guy did ask to borrow one of the other player’s guitars and was told no - it was set up for DADGAD and he didn’t want it retuned. The problem was he did not take no for an answer and kept on at him until he got a shot (under the threat of a beating if he touched the tuning pegs!)

I’ve had people pick up a banjo and try to retune it like a guitar, or try to bend strings on the mandolin, which is hard enough to keep in tune as it is ….

I would never dream of playing an instrument that didn’t belong to me, unless I’ve asked the owner permission first or been offered to try said instrument, so I would have trouble understanding anyone that thought he could just help himself to any of my flutes or whistles. He’d better hope he had hands left after that… Especially random punters that do that usually have no respect or understanding for the monetary or affectional value of the instrument, and will most likely do something wrong to it. That, and I don’t like random people spitting into my instruments 😛

TomW,
I thought that dude had kind of a strange look in his eye, anyway. Bad karma, for him.

I was eyeing Dave’s custom bouzouki, but didn’t want to ask to check it out. Lo and behold if he didn’t offer it to me to play while I was chatting with Michael! Good karma for me, I guess.

I often think that if I had just half of the ‘neck’ that some of those people have, I’d be a massive star. I came back from the loo one night in a London pub to find a guy playing my box. Well it wasn’t exactly playing, more like trying to pull my precious box apart. As it happened, this particular guy was a brother of the Guv’ of the pub, and he gave us the push because I wouldn’t let his brother play my box. Lovely people!!!!

sometimes when Im playing and I see someone in the bar that I know can play, but are just in socialising, i would sk them if they wanted to play a tune, or if someone asks me and I know they can play I have no problem with it, provided they arent too dunk or something, but for someone you dont know to come over and lift your instrument is uncalled for and completely out of order. I agree with Mix, it doesnt matter about the price, make, whatever. He/she should have asked, and if you said no they shoulf respect that. whatever you said to the blaggard i sure they deserved it. guitars and bodhrans are usually the biggest problem for that, cuz every ducks arse thinks they can play them

At our local sessions, I have almost never had anyone ask if they could play my Roland Digital Piano. If they will ask me nicely, I might let them try but if they obviously can’t play or keep up with the rest of the musicians, then I don’t allow them to play any longer. If the person who asks to play my Digital Piano is another musician whom I know can play because I have heard them playing, then I will offer to let them play without making them ask first.

Given many people’s instruments are worth the price of a second-hand car (so, not a fortune but quite a lot). Makes me wonder if it would be OK for someone to take your car for a spin without asking?!

I get really annoyed when people touch my fiddle without asking. If I know they can play and they ask, that’s entirely different. It’s basic manners to ask, you shouldn’t just pick something up and start sawing/bashing etc away without doing so - and even then I wouldn’t let a random play my fiddle, it means too much to me and I’d be heartbroken if they did break it.

If someone no body knew picked up an instrument, you’d know for sure, even before they made a sound, that they can’t play. Because anyone who can play would never do such a thing. So they wouldn’t be advised to bring their own next week, they’d be told to feck off and never come back.

# Posted on January 26th 2009 by llig leahcim


Pearls, Mister Llig, pearls.

That’s a favorite of mine. My chart-topping experience was letting an acquaintance try my 6-key Grinter, turning around to grab a beer, and turning back around to the sight of said individual with a tin-whistle up the head joint, saying how happy he was to adjust the cork for me. I suggested an alternative insertion point for the whistle.

And people wonder why Boston has a reputation for being unfriendly.

J/

I play the box…..it terrifies most other musicians and mystifies the rest. Has not been a problem.

It’s okay to beat people that do this.

Depending on the particular eedjit and the general circumstances of the occasion you could say something about the insurance company only allowing named individuals to play the instrument, and, regretfully, sir isn’t one of them.

Rhychawr - yup, while he spelled me on the piano, Dave was twisting my arm to try out that expensive new guitar he brought. I told him I’d love to, but sometime when I’d had fewer pints, for fear of putting a scratch or dent in it. I know that the dude is a pretty good guitar player (I think that I’ve let him try out my old Martin on occasion). Although I think that he’s more of a Music School Jazz-Rock Fusion type, which might explain some of his attitude - I mean, how dare some hammer-handed plumber’s kid from Deeetroit backing up diddley tunes in sharp keys not recognize the natural superiority of an educated clone of Al DiMeola. But that’s another subject…
lazyhound - yup, I’ve heard about the insurance thing. If it was a whistle or pipes or something like that, I’d make some remark such as “…I guess that it’s OK, as that big patch of Herpes on my lip is very nearly cleared up…”
fauxcelt: “If the person who asks to play my Digital Piano is another musician whom I know can play because I have heard them playing, then I will offer to let them play without making them ask first.” - exactly.
J/ - that’s a great story!
Thanks, all, for the feedback. Like I said, I just wish that it hadn’t happened. I posssibly overreacted (certainly not from what I’ve heard here, I must say), but clowns like that can make clowns like me decide that it just isn’t worth the hassle. Which is a shame, all around…
Peace…

I HATE IT!

Even my mate who i’d trust with my life can be a bit of a prick sometimes when i take my instruments to school, which kinda makes me paranoid over my stuff, but sometimes with good reason. it is a bit of an attention puller though!

I’d not worry, I’d just cut their fingers off!

What?
A discussion on the mustard board where everyone agrees?
Maybe I’m on the wrong web site.

Fellenbaum- I hate um, “incidents”, which is why I was a bit upset. I’m truly distressed if I caused one here…(grin…)

“If someone no body knew picked up an instrument, you’d know for sure, even before they made a sound, that they can’t play. Because anyone who can play would never do such a thing…”

Not necessarily. In Ye Olden Days of folk clubs, I often enough saw arrogant (but proficient or better) types pick up the nearest guitar without, sometimes, even knowing who it belonged to. A combination of arrogance and inebriation could lead to these incidents at any time, and real damage to the instrument could occur within seconds.

“It’s okay to beat people that do this.”

Dealing with the transgressor after the fact might be less than satisfying.
Keep your gear safe!

I’ve learned over the years that, as a general rule, people who are self-important enough to ask to play the instrument of someone they don’t know are usually terrible musicians. But people who don’t bother asking can be downright dangerous!

woargh the most disgusting thing is if anyone starts playing on my whistle.. some relatives seem to think i don’t care (“But I’m your Uncle!”). And whenever some friends or other ppl i know see one of my whistles i can read their thoughts, but they dont dare trying it and i usually dont encourage them :P Only a tiny exception if the one is really a good friend.
For me it’s almost like putting a used chewing gum of someone else in my mouth. (which doesnt mean that i treat my whistle like a chewing gum..! 🙂 )

“What? A discussion on the mustard board where everyone agrees? Maybe I’m on the wrong web site.”

I thought that was odd too - but then many of us borrow other people’s discussions without asking!

Concertinas are a bit rare in this part of Oz, and I’ve had a couple of people ask to have a closer look out of sheer curiosity. But they’ve always asked first. So I’ve taken to carrying around an old Chinese-built concertina for just that situation. I keep my good concertina well away from the curious. It’s just too much to risk in unfamiliar hands.
I think I would have forty fits if I someone picked up my instrument without asking!

What if the wife (or husband, presumably) has already said yes? 🙂

bindicat- same with my pipes.
on the other hand the people i play with are a long- standing group of friends and no-one would stand by and let some eedjit pick up a friend’s instrument.

Almost as bad: New guy sits in for the first time:

“Hey Bill! Give me your fiddle so I can play a tune.”

That’s NOT asking. Luckily, shy Bill’s wife stepped in for him and said that Bill didn’t like other people playing his violin.

Rude guy then looks longingly over at my fiddle (the only other one at the session) and there was a long group silence as I studiously and obviously avoided eye contact. The fellow hasn’t come back since….

Hey Sue - who said “Yes” to what? Now you’ve got me going…
If I weren’t half-a-dozen time zones away from Bristol, I’d definitely like to get together for some tunes. What do you like to sing?

My wife knows better than to tell some stranger that they can play with one of my instruments.

Hey Mary - I had a similar experience once; the gent wasn’t a complete newbie; in fact he was a pretty good fiddler who’d shown up a few times before, but he got seriously into his cups one night, and then (drop voice about one/half octave) “hey boy, gimmee dat guitar…”
…so after a few polite refusals, I had to stand there and hear this guy call me every potty-mouth name he could think of, before he finallly stormed off. Me, all the while, with this sh*te-eating grin, as I’ve heard it all before, and much more, um, “colorfully”. I’m certainly not any kind of a badass (quite the opposite, which is why maybe I seem to attract these clowns), but in some of the places that I used to hang out in, in my misspent youth, anyone who started that kind of crap against a regular would be very lucky to escape with only cuts and bruises…
…An obnoxious person in a bar…why am I surprised?
I hope that you’re having a blast with that fiddle! You’re lucky to have a(n) S.O. to play tunes with! If you ever get over Ann Arbor way, let me know…

I really dont like people doing it, especially since most of them not being fiddle/viola players, the effect is not so very great. But on the other hand, i’d let anyone who asks have a go - why not? (I can understand thats not the same for whistles… 🙂)

Mina:
…“anyone who asks” - yup, If they’d asked…
Where in Switzerland do you live? I spent a month or so there on business around Geneva (Meyrin, to be exact) several years ago. Unfortunately (for me) I didn’t get to check out much of the local music. I’m hoping that sometime I can go back…