The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

My heart tells me it’s the spoons, but could it be the djembe? One hand controls the rhythm (or not). The other hand controls volume. Beyond taste resistance, there is apparently no other friction to delay the production of a noise as opposed to the physical necessities of a labotomy. The speed of verbal abuse adds a delay on the spoons, but surely this is imperceptible compared to the speed of projectiles from the hands of musicians. Has anyone heard ITM played on the djembe? I haven’t. Musicians do a pretty good job with real musical instruments.

Apologies to Joel for ripping off his thread🙂

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Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

Ha ha!

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

The human digestive tract.

And burps are just the beginning. Moving downward one passes through a rich zone of gurgles and growls, then twists around through the insipid "switchbacks of silence." But patience is a virtue, because ultimately one will experience the "sonorous finale" which was exploited so exquisitely by the Parisian stage performer, "Le Pétomane."

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

I neglected to mention audible hard swallows. (Not to be confused with the ornithological variety of audible hard swallows which do shatter so very many windows during migration.)

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

I am told I occasionally grunt…being a box player, I try to compensate for occasional lack of foresight in bellows positions.

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

Pipes are the perfect bad tempered instrument. Trust me.

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

"Has anyone heard ITM played on the djembe?"

Has anyone heard West African drumming played on the fiddle?

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

I once played Silent Night on the Shawm, accompanied by a Didgeridoo. I’m certain that for those few minutes we were the only people in the world doing this! It sounded ghastly.

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

A French explorer in the 18th century was witness to African slaves in America playing African music on fiddles. He said it was very monotone and rhythmic. It was done with fiddles because slave owners in the area had banned the use of drums for fear that they would be used to signal rebellion.

Gaelic Storm used African drums on their first recording.
My concertina is very bad tempered. It has a mind of it’s own and never cooperates! It refuses to play fast or at an even tempo. However, this could be due to operator error….

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

Have you tried closing and opening it again?

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

It has to be the fiddle. The fecker won’t cooperate or do much of anything
useful for at least the first couple of years. You can use it as drum
if you tap on the body.

Drums are much friendlier; just give them a whack.
One whack on a bodhran sounds the same
whether it’s John Joe Kelly or a 5 year old. Two or more whacks in a
row however — that’s where the talent comes in.

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

Have none of you heard a daf being played in a session instead of a bodhran ?
Most of the audience will have a bad temper shortly, from the headache !

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

What is a daf,apart from being a make of car?

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

It’s like an Iranian bodhran, but with interlinked rings round the edge as jingles ( but you cant hear them for the THUMP ). Larger diameter, shallow ring, and deafening.

Re: The perfect bad-tempered instrument?

Good God! I think that you are making a mistake in releasing this information into ITM circles.