Rapture come and gone, welcome to hell…

Rapture come and gone, welcome to hell…

I’ll admit, I didn’t pack my bags. I knew without a doubt that I’d still be here today. And I have to say I’m not to surprised to see who else got left behind (yes, that means you).

πŸ˜€


What’s appalling is that Camping and his "church" raised millions of dollars through this canard of Judgment Day. Do his dupes get a refund? What a crock of sh*t.

In honor of the occasion, I’ll be teaching a special tune at Monday’s tune learning session: Some Say the Devil’s Dead. (I considered teaching The Man Who Died and Rose Again but that tune sucks.)

Here’s my email announcement for Monday. If you’re in the neighborhood, drop by. πŸ˜‰

Where: Piccolo’s Music (in case of fire, we’ll congregate outside on the brimstone)
When: 6:30 to eternity, god willing
B.Y.O.B. (plan on being parched)
Recording devices welcome, but this might be tricky what with all the trumpets blaring
No horsemen, please.
Don’t be taken aback by the surfeit of accordions. This is hell…what did you expect?


If you still think rapture is coming, please write a check in my name for all your assets. You can post date it for whenever suits you.

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Can’t stop to chat now; am being raptured. Look after the place.

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Believe, me, I’ll be the last one, catching all the light switches as I go….

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You’ll never guess what music is playing in the Heavenly elevator.

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wait i thought it was tonight…o ratz, did i miss it?

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Ah well….. same time next year, lads ?

I wonder if anybody here ever heard Rowan Atkinson’s monologue "The Devil" ? I think it was 1981, a recording made live in Belfast, where the devil [ "you can call me Toby, we try to keep things informal here, as well as infernal… that was a little joke…." ] is welcoming the new arrivals into Hell, and divides them up into groups.
"Atheists - you must be feeling a right load of Charlies…over there please. Sodomites… over there against the wall. Everybody who’s seen "The Life Of Brian". Yes, I’m afraid he doesn’t have a sense of humour after all. And bigamists - God, there are a lot of you. Form a queue over there behind that small guillotine… And bank managers………….."
Now there was a man ahead of his time.

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I laughed when he said, ‘the world will end wherever you are’.

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Just another minor brainwash acid trip

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Didn’t you hear? He cancelled it. There’s a new video out explaining that he got the dates wrong.

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fedorastain, I’d agree with you except for the harm this idiocy causes people.

According to AP, in 2009 Harold Camping’s "church" reported in IRS filings that it received $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks or other publicly traded securities.

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Not to mention those that swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. They sold their homes, walked away from their jobs, and are now in a camper caravan with the other financially ruined nut jobs.

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Yeah, you almost wish they *had* vanished and left the rest of us down here….

😎

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Where’s llig?

Perhaps he’s gone.

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Curiouser and curiouser … I cannot pick up Camping’s radio website www.familyradio.Β­com on my browsers. Perhaps Camping’s decamped (ahem!), or perhaps he’s carrying on camping (many Brits will probably recognize that allusion).

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It’s been some serious camp, yep.

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Nothing on Radio 4 either; they don’t usually miss much. Did anybody spot any aeroplanes falling out of the sky? Cars without drivers? Wheelchairs suddenly emptying?

You ARE sure you looked properly?

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On my side of the "religion" we call folks like him false prophets. He said before that the rapture would happen on some day he conjured up in his head. The Bible says not to believe people like him. The fact that he was wrong before proves that he’s a false prophet.

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false prophet…. ya think?

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Armageddon pretty sick and tired of all this rapture talk…. πŸ˜‰

Regarding my own personal beliefs, I do see this as a lesson for people of faith—I wish more people of faith would stop waiting for God to do something for them, and get off their butts and do something for God. I think the Book of Revelations is allegory, it is about the choice we have between good and evil, a choice that does not come at any particular time, instead, we face it every day. And a peaceful and perfect kingdom will not come to Earth unless our works match our beliefs. To quote words attributed to Saint Teresa of Avila:
"Christ has no body now but yours
No hands, no feet on earth but yours
Yours are the eyes through which He looks
compassion on this world
Christ has no body now on earth but yours."
It is a shame that today, words of a two-bit preacher, so arrogant that he thinks he knows what Jesus admitted he did not know, is better known to the world than the works of other people of faith. Those of us who believe should take heed of the laughter that echoes around the world—it is proof that we can and should do better…

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Surely, the most serious and dangerous idiots are that vast and growing multitude that stick their fingers in their ears whenever Darwin is mentioned.

Not wanting to listen to the facts is surely more stupid than signing up for the wrong ones That could just be put down to an honest mistake.

The sooner we all evolve sufficiently to move away from God bothering the better in my view.

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Oh Lord, Will retriggered the religious disussion, and I fell right into the trap… oh the humanity… πŸ˜‰

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Well, apparently, I have a few more minutes because the rapture is supposed to happen at 6 pm PDT. But I don’t hold out too much hope that I will be taken. Nor really, do I want to be. I prefer reality. My "prayer" every day is: Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Let’s have a tune now!

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Geez, now I have to clean the house, mow the lawn and do the laundry.


Mary

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ah yes, the castle within…

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They wanted some other A. Quigley. I got given a complimentary robe and sandals, and was then deraptured down to a poolhall on San Fernando Sreet. As to the "unbroken music of Heaven," I don’t know what Tommy Potts was trying for in his "imperfect way." The unbroken music of Heaven is Motown.

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Well then, based upon the heaps of cash these holy-scammers pulled off (a fine tradition by the way, going back thousands of years) I say we here in mustardville pick a new date for the end of times, start up an internet based church, make Llig our pastor, and reap in the moolah. I’m sure we could make a packet off the American South region alone.

Who’s with me? I’ll throw out an arbitrary date for starters. How about 12/12/12? It has a nice creepy numerological sound to it.

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Jusa - great idea you’ve got here. A friend and I were discussing the same plan since our retirements need funding.

I will say that Camping’s church is in California so it’s not just the southerns states in the U.S. that are prone to this. But I agree that it would be fertile ground.

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Jusa, did you hear that otherwise normal-sounding pastor being interviewed on NPR’s Morning Edition? He went on, in all calmness, about how he’d "crunched the numbers" and affirmed that today is indeed Rapture Day.

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"southern" not "southerns" states. sorry.

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Llig should be the accountant, not the pastor. We’d need someone self-righteous and insane to be pastor. Come to think of it, there’s a candidate on another thread right now….



What I don’t understand about the pet care idea is this: why would anyone leave their cats and dogs in the care of evil heathens to await hellfire and the extinction of the whole universe? That sounds so cruel.

The more I ponder it, if other species are exempt from heaven, and it’s *just* humans, I think 2,000 years ago someone switched the definitions of heaven and hell.

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Jusa, get out your US meteorology map, target the states which make up the electrical storm belt (somebody has observed that this also happens to be the Bible belt) and there you’ll find most of your potential followers. True, California doesn’t fit the geographic pattern; BUT, plenty of Californians were born in the Bible belt. (That’s got to be the explanation)

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I can easily see how a rotter like Camping could be one of the home growns. California exports rotters to the world. We even have "A Walk Of Fame" in their honor.

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Didn’t you hear? Volcano just blew in Iceland…

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Yeah, got all quiet didn’t you. Stop ignoring the signs folks, and

R E P E N T

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Mark Twain always said he favored heaven for climate, but hell for society.
I have it from the best of authorities (old Far Side cartoons) that it is the down escalator for accordion players…

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Maybe the GOOD folks DID get raptured…..there’s so few, I’d imagine, that we wouldn’t really mss them would we? Easier to pass through the eye of a needle and all that….Boring unimaginative lot too I’d say……certainly not the artistic crowd……….

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typo, should have said rupture….

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Monday’s theme for tune learning warrants a tray of deviled eggs, and a 6 pack of Dead Guy’s Ale (unless someone tells me it’s awful first). Coming right up….

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and for our wine drinkers, Seven Deadly Zins….

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Eruption in Iceland and a 6.1 earthquake in New Zealand a couple hours before midnight….

Quick, send me all your cash before you’re all whisked upward!

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I had a rapture once, wish I could have predicted it. Four days in the hospital with surgery- 27 stitches, two weeks off and six weeks light duty back at work afterwards. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone,,,hummmm, maybe this Camping dude! D.

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@AlBrown, I agree with you.

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Yes a 6.1 in the Kermadec Is, not far from here, but no-one seemed to feel it. So I’ll keep my kiwi dollars Will and keep playing a few tunes

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Anybody seen my cat? Here, kitty kitty kitty… Where IS that damned thing…No birds this morning either. Now that IS strange…

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The bodhrans weren’t "rUptured into Hell" either.
πŸ™

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Scams come in all sorts. The non-religious ones are much more profitable by far. Take global warming. That one has non-believers on the hook by the billions making trillions. At least the pastor was harmless in that his contributions were voluntary rather than the results of taxation.

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Oh good, a battle royale begins….

(here comes the rebuttal that global warming science has all been rigged to support the theory, cuz scientists and politicos just want our money and power….)

Good web site, polkageist.

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The funniest thing I heard yesterday was someones plan for
a practical joke; it involved a pair of shoes and some nicely
smoking dry ice……

Robert Mouland
www.wireharp.com

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This reminded me of a few songs I used to like. Anyone remember "The Hooters" and "Satellite" - also "Timbuk 3" and "Reverend Jack And His Roamin’ Cadillac Church" ?

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Reverend should come out with another t-shirt: "I survived the apocalypse and all I got was this louse t-shirt."

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Or maybe:

FROM REVEREND TO NEVEREND !

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shoes and dry ice ……..

We found an old electric heater in our new extension at college. We drew a chalk outline of a person next to it and waited for everyone to queue up and ask about the fatality.
;->

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According to Buckaroo Banzai, "Wherever you go, there you are."
Is "false profit" money which you didn’t actually earn or receive?

Laurence

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This just in from an AP news story:
"Evans, Camping’s PR aide, told NPR he hopes Family Radio will reimburse followers who spent their savings in anticipation of the rapture, but that he can’t guarantee it."

Oh, they could "guarantee" the end of the world, but not refunds?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m submitting a claim for a couple hundred grand….

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this is more fun than politics or natural disaster: a great escape. i will be sad to see it end.

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what?
the thread or the world?

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"i will be sad to see it end."

Ironically, it just doesn’t seem to end. We can milk this for comic relief for a long time to come.

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it could have been worse, yes.

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Doesn’t surprise me Camping hails from California.

People who live in parts of America (or anywhere else) where the ground is always liable to explode underneath them are bound to be a bit more jumpy than those who live on more indolent parts of the earth’s crust. I think it’s bound to affect your take on life.

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No where near jumpy enough. He’s all cool calculation. But then, so is the AG, who should’ve acted by now… Nicholas, have you been able to get your money back? How about pets?

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I have it on good authority that the rapture did occur as predicted it just took a few isolated souls from the rain forests of South America and New Guinea,not the pious who expected it.

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"He’s all cool calculation…"

Bloody hell, Atahualpa, what are the rest of them like round there?!?… πŸ™‚

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when i said i’d be sad to see it end, i meant both the thread and/or the world. what i wonder is, when whatever his name was claimed the date was mistaken because of a mathematical error, did he mean camping or god?

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Haven’t you heard? God’s a royal tosser when it comes to maths. Missed a decimal on that "4" days and nights" thunderstorm. And there are only ten commandments because he ran out of fingers….

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I can see why you’re
still here.

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" And there are only ten commandments because he ran out of fingers"

Some might tell you that there are 613 commandments.
They were cut down to ten to appeal to new readership……

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I believe the phenomenum where people who were expecting, The End of the World, say, are disappointed but yet don’t lose their faith, is called Cognitive Dissonance.
It’s much like the percussion player out of time but unable to hear it; or the musician always out of tune who never adjusts……
….well, I had to get an ITM-related reference in.

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Camping says he has now recalculated That Date to 21 October 2011. Those who are of a chronically worried disposition may wish to make the appropriate entry in their diaries.

That date is a Friday, so there should be the usual session at The Lion in Bristol, England, with sandwiches and fries kindly provided by the management (as usual), and finishing about midnight. I’ve never seen any of the regulars get "raptured" - whatever that nay mean - so I see no reason for it to happen at that particular session.

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"may" - not "nay"

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This could be like an aging rock group having their "Farewell Tour" every so often. More *reality* TV? Probably on the 21st to make it easier to print up new fliers.

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Hey - could we all sue him for mental distress caused by predicting the end of the world? Now he’s still around, surely we’ve got a case?