Guinness bar towel…

Guinness bar towel…

Last night I obtained a towelling Guinness bar mat. In the past I have seen various trad Irish musos employing one usually across the thigh or on one’s lap.
I have now taken to puting it across my right thigh whilst playing the old strummyfing.
Will this improve my playing?

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Only when you have consumed vast quantities of the advertised beverage..and then although you will believe you are playing brilliantly……. others may not agree!

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Apparently the Guinness one is indeed good for you. A Carlsberg towel would be the best. Probably.

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‘obtained’ ?

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…. Well, if you’ve got a towel, it not only will help you play better, but it will serve you in your adventure throughout the galaxy.

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Depends-we need more info. Such as:
1) What tuning are you using?
2) What is the scale length of the bar towel?
3) Are you using the towel as a way of connecting to your perceived Irish roots? And if so, what kind of stains are likely to result?
4) Are you planning to use the towel with your soldering iron?
Please advise

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That towel is radioactive at this point drop the towel and step away

Argyl socks might help your music.

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In an old thread, I heard that a cardigan sweater can help playing, too. You may want to look into that. It also wouldn’t look as weird as carrying a towel would.
Best of luck.
—You also may want to try a bluechip pick, those are sure to make you play loads better :D

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Yhaalhouse - I’m disappointed. I thought for certain you had a session caddy standing just behind you who handed you a fresh towel after each set of tunes?

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I’ve used non-slip shelf liner mesh like this:

http://www.amazon.com/Grip-Shelf-Drawer-Liner-Black/dp/B000KFSOFI

to keep instruments like a bowlback mandolin from sliding off my lap, or to keep a soprano uke tucked up high on my torso. You cut out a small 4 x 6 inch strip and keep it between you and your yoke. It definitely gives you more control and makes playing easier and less tiring. A better overall sound as a result? Mmmmaybe.

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I like my yolks wild and free

But I respect your opinion of keeping bits of cloth between your yolks. Fair play to all the yolk separatists

Good stuff

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Useful if you’re sitting to the right of a flute player
…or if you’re a whistle player yourself.

gam: ‘obtained’ ?

Yes - I was wondering about that too.

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Holding anything against the soundbox of an instrument, especially anything soft and fluffy, will dampen the resonance ( whether or not it has previously been used for mopping the porter, and so dampen literally ) and not improve the sound. Can’t say anything about improving the playing.

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Actually a Harp towel would be most appropriate.

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Guinness already has the harp on it.

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"Last night I ‘OBTAINED’ a towelling Guinness bar mat."
Yhaalhouse, you still haven’t answered Gam’s (ex publican) question.

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"Yhaalhouse, you still haven’t answered Gam’s (ex publican) question."
I think he’s thrown in the towel on this thread.

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"I think he’s thrown in the towel on this thread."

Very dry.

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….unless he was sitting next to the flute player, …..probably.

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Yhaalhouse, you, like many others, have misread the Trad Police’s Directive. It’s a TROWEL you’re obliged to have about your person.

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"… porter so thick you had to scoop it out with a trowel …"

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It’s a useful prop when you play the Mason’s Apron

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Good for making a nest in which to place your shaky eggs until they hatch. It will absorb the hydrogen sulphide in the flatulence you produce (by imbibing the advertised product) as you sit on the eggs to incubate them.

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"Holding anything against the soundbox of an instrument, especially anything soft and fluffy, will dampen the resonance"
That’ll be a hard decision. Accept reduced resonance or seriously disappoint the hamster.

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If you had the last such item in the bar and were singing a Pete St John song it might be a case of Dublin In The Rare Towel Times.

Fetching coat and running for door.

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Sounds like a load of flannel to me.

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To quote the ineffable Douglas Adams:
"The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might have accidentally "lost.". What the strag will think is that any man that can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)"

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Ah, love that book. Can’t understand half the humor in it, but it’s funny none the less.

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"To quote the ineffable Douglas Adams"…. ???
‘Ineffable’.? Does that mean that he was incapable of swearing?

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Gobby — I think it means the opposite of ‘effable’ — but I daren’t imagine what that means. Similarly with ‘defunct’ and ‘funct’. Isn’t language wonderful?

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Well, there’s no ‘F’ in Douglas Adams, is there?

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Then there’s ‘flammable’ and ‘inflammable’ which mean the same thing!

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in·ef·fa·ble /inˈefəbəl/
adjective
1. too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words.
"the ineffable natural beauty of the Everglades".
synonyms: indescribable, inexpressible, beyond words, beyond description, begging description;

Which leads me to another Adams quote, from one of the Dirk Gently books:
“Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”

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Haha that’s a great quote! Thanks Al :-)

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Yeah, great quote Al. 42 out of 42 for that. But then on your definition of effable i.e.,- "too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words."… Example given- "the ineffable natural beauty of the Everglades".
Surely the words ‘natural beauty’ render the ineffable effable. It kind of reminds me of people who say, "It goes without saying that…", and then go on to say what they claimed goes without saying. If I know something that goes without saying I dont say it. And it’s the same when somebody gets announced on stage or TV and the host says, "And now somebody who needs no introduction", and then they tell you who it is. They should just leave it at "And now somebody who needs no introduction!" But anyway, as I’m finding the waffle of this whole thread so discombobulating I’ll have to go off and re-combobulate myself.

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I didn’t write the effing definition, just passed it on, for pity’s sake… ;-)

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I knew that Al.

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I knew you knew that, but you gave me the opportunity to make another ‘effing’ joke, so I took it and ran with it… ;-)