Fiddle jokes

Fiddle jokes

Here are some fiddle joke I have come up with after trying to play reels with fiddlers who swing everything.

What do you call an instrument that is not in tune:
a Fiddle

What is the difference between a banjo player and a fiddler:
Most banjo players skip notes while fiddle rhythm is always swung

What is the difference between a fiddle and a chainsaw:
you can tune a chainsaw

What do you call a Fiddler who forgets tunes:
A music stand

Banjo and Guitar jokes coming soon!

Re: Fiddle jokes

Where are the jokes? Will you be posting them soon?

Re: Fiddle jokes

What’s the only way to make a banjo swing … put it on a swing.

Re: Fiddle jokes

A brave attempt, MCBanjo. I think you have proved a point: Fiddle players are above ridicule - it is impossible for a fiddler to be the butt of joke.

Re: Fiddle jokes

All the usual banjo or viola jokes apply.
What combination of words is one unlikely to ever hear uttered in English?

A: "Is that the fiddler’s Bentley?"

If you toss a Sligo fiddler, a Galway fiddler, and a Donegal fiddler off the Cliffs of Moher, who hits the rocks first?

A: Who cares?

If you see a fiddler and your local music festival’s main organizer crossing a deserted country road ahead of you, which one do you try to hit first?

A: The organizer. Business before pleasure.

Re: Fiddle jokes

How can you tell the difference between old-time fiddle tunes?

A: By their name.

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Re: Fiddle jokes

Oldie but goodie: how do you tell the difference between a violin and a fiddle? Turn it over. If beer pours out, it’s a fiddle.

Re: Fiddle jokes

How do can you tell when the fiddler is out of tune?
A: The bow is moving. And the steel guitar player gets mad as Hell.

Why is a violin smaller than a viola?
A: It’s not. It’s an optical illusion. The violin only APPEARS smaller, because the violinists’ head is so much bigger.

What’s the difference between a degree in violin performance and a degree in viola performance?
A: Economists call it "opportunity cost."

Re: Fiddle jokes

The difference between an onion and a fiddle?

Nobody cries when you chop up a fiddle…and….

The difference between a trampoline and a fiddle?

Take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline!

Oldies but goodies 😉

Re: Fiddle jokes

Young fiddler to critic, after playing the Contradiction Reel (badly) :

"Yeah, that one was called "The Contradiction Reel"! Great, eh? A hard one to play, actually. What do you think of my execution?"

Critic : "I do hope it will be soon."

Re: Fiddle jokes

I noticed at a recent gig how absolutely level the stage was because the banjo player was dribbling from both sides of his mouth; sadly later that night I was told he got so depressed by his poor timing during the tunes that he threw himself behind a train.

Boooooom 🙂


Re: Fiddle jokes

Fiddler 1 : "I have real, real trouble getting my fiddle in tune."
Fiddler 2 : "I never have any trouble tuning - never."

Fiddler 1 : "What strings do you use?"
Fiddler 2 : "No idea."

Fiddler 1 : "You must have some idea. What colour are the ends?"
Fiddler 2 : "I don’t know."

Fiddler 1 : "OK, does your fiddle actually have any strings on it, at all ?"
Fiddler 2 : "Er…no."

Re: Fiddle jokes

Thanks God there’s no bodhrán jokes thread, or Jeremy would run out of server space.

Re: Fiddle jokes

One I heard a while back.

"How do you get seven fiddlers to play in unison?"
"You shoot six of them"

Re: Fiddle jokes

One of my favourites:

Q: What’s the definition of a chord?
A: Three fiddlers playing a C.

Re: Fiddle jokes

Then there was the well known Irish fiddler, Bow Diddley……..

Re: Fiddle jokes

Why is a viola like a police murder enquiry ?
Every one is happy when the case is closed.

Re: Fiddle jokes

Fiddlers, et al — joke and no joke:
Many moons ago, while packing up my instrument after playing a contradance, a young lady about my age walked up and began a conversation. After a brief interchange, she exclaimed, "You’re really nice - for a fiddler!"
Any moral in this is overshadowed by memories of our pleasant evening that followed.