Whaes like us?

Scots, Irish, Manx, Welsh?

I know for a fact that the new world progeny are not the same.

They’re not as smart, and they’re uglier too??? … something like that?

“Sameness” is easily hidden behind cultural norms, accents, skin colour, and so on…

Och, nae probs, Noo Ah’m probly comin‘ oot wi pesh. Am efter suppin wi lads wae hid a’ kinna barse ackward theories.


Bee-de-bee…

Yaes be talln ma daaffrnt? Wae?

Oh, I see. G’night Danny.

Damn few an ther a’ deid

Scene from The Blood Donor; goes something like this:

Nurse: Dr. McTavish will see you now, Mr Hancock.
Hancock: McTavish! Oh, he’s Scottish! That’s all right then. Wonderful doctors, the Scots.
(entering doctor’s surgery) Hoots, mon! It’s a braw bricht moonlicht nicht, the noo! Och, aye!
Doctor: (superior English public school drawl) Good morning, Mr. Hancock. Do take a seat.
Hancock: Oh… sorry for dropping into the vernacular like that; the nurse said you were Scottish.
Doctor: Yes, but we can’t all be Rob Roys, can we?

I’ve just run the musings of The Lord of the Flies through the text-to-sound converter of WavePad
(see https://thesession.org/discussions/4350) to hear what “authentic” Glaswegian sounds like. If my old dog could gargle that would be a fair approximation to what WavePad produced 🙂
Trevor

Groan - I wish I hadn’t started this thread. Musings indeed, Trevor. One of my mates just got his PhD so we were celebrating very severely yesterday, so the initial posts were very Champagne-fuelled. Sorry guys…

…well, at least it has provided some entertainment for youse.

I thought that was Guinness and cider or was that “Black and Tan”?
When I was a lad, I used to try all sorts of combinations which were “guaranteed” to get you p-ssed cheaply. One particular combination was heavy, barleywine and cider. If there was no barley wine, a “wee heavy” sufficed. Danny will remember the Wee Heavy-- the wee Glescae wimmen used to drink it before shouting “Hey Jimmy, Gie us ten guitars”. I don’t know if you can still buy it these days. 🙁

Jim - I might well have done last night!
John - are you thinking of the Sarry Hied?

To us, the guinness and cider was known as ‘poor man’s black velvet’. The rich man’s version is more effective, though possibly not more cost-effective.

The cheapest we ever got drunk was on Ricard (a poor man’s ouzo?), cider and blackcurrant; 51p (in 1977) got me drunk as a skunk; I can’t remember what that disgusting concoction was called.

In my misspent youth, local landlords wouldn’t serve ‘snakebite’ (half bitter, half cider), as it had the reputation of getting you most *fighting* drunk, so afficionados had to get inventive in their ordering of halves for mixing later.

Aaah, “Ten Guitars” the Pan-Polynesian anthem.

I was working in South Shields docks once when a scaffolder introduced me to “Blastaway”.
A pint glass filled with a bottle of “Castaway” and a bottle of something like Electric White. A couple of those felt good but your legs went all wobbly when you got off the bar stool.

Can of White Lightning and 2 slugs of Benolyn - that even beats Lord of the Dannys!

Yes, aside from cider, the Saracen Head in Glasgow’s Gallowgate was an excellent purveyor of what they called ‘lighter fuel’ - it was served in measures from a bottle containing a mixture of wine and whisky - I think it was called ‘Wham’s Dram’

Jim

Yes, yes, chaps. But just to remind youse - I was gie’ing the Champagne laldy last night, I’ll have youse know.