Being hated…part 2

Being hated…part 2

When my boys were little we took them to all the dances with us. They danced a little, and occasionally they would even get the opportunity to play the piano or fiddle with the band for a set. Later in the evenings they would crash on sheepskins on the stage, falling asleep to the music. My oldest is now 17 and away at college, but he will still play piano or guitar to my tunes, and I have no complaint as to the direction his music has taken. He has a wide range of interests. Rebellious sons #2 & 3 will be 14 and 16 this month. Whatever was I thinking when I let them start public school? They totally reject anything in good taste, whether it’s music, food, art, or leisure activities. They play the raunchiest music, although they do keep the volume down so I don’t know about it. But then they complain about the sweet music I play on the mandolin. That’s what really hurts. I know they are just trying to get back at me for being critical of their interests, but hey, these guys have an enormous amount of talent and ability that they’ve flushed down the toilet. Kevin still plays drums and bass in the school band without any effort, but Connor has completely given it up. I hear about other people’s kids doing fantastic things with music. Is anybody out there disappointed by their kids’ choices?

I might add that son #4 is 11, is a real sweetie who still enjoys the dances, but due to his myriad of developmental delays and learning disabilities, can’t tell the difference between music and a train wreck.

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Son # 1 played piano for a while, then gave it up…he is now 16 and into "metal"…I try to accept it, although I wouldn’t choose it…he composes in the computer, laying down keyboasrd tracks, bass lines, and gets his 11 yr old brother to play guitar…son # 2, the 11 yr old, played violin for 6 yrs (we started together) but got tired of "Suzuki "method, even though he progressed quite far and has a super ear…I think he has perfect pitch, too, so violin has served him well. He is now taking some Scottish Violin, since coming back from Scottish Fiddle Camp this summer, he says tht is the nly fiddle music he likes to play…I try to encourage other styles, just to keep his mind open, but he is resistant.

We home school both kids, so there is no peer pressure from public school..they have chosen their styles on their own. Bottom line is that we try to give them the tools to make good choices, but can’t choose for them…still I would rather hear "my" music than "theirs", but we have to remember also to keep an open mind, and they are taking from the music whatever it is that they need.

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When I was 16, I gave up classical music lessons for good, and consequently gave up Irish music. When I was 17, I started playing Irish music again and have not stopped since. Coming back to it was not for my parents. It was something that I wanted to do.

Leave the door open for them. What they probably need to find is a scene with people their own age. That is what did it for me.

Then again, I have two sons, one nearly 3 and the other nearly 1. My challenges in this area are in the future!!

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How about listening to it from the childs point of view? Except, kind of the other way round.

My brother, now 20, wanted to learn the violin when he was 10, but soon gave up when he realised he was going to have to actually WORK to be any good. My parents were slightly disappointed and probably thought that I (then 4) was going to turn out the same way-rythmically challenged and tone deaf.

But, at the age of 6, I was desperate to learn the flute, having heard someone play one in assembly (very badly I now realise). However, I wasn’t allowed to start till I was 10 (something about giving older kids a chance). Still, I never stopped wanting to learn music, so finally the day came when I started classical flute lessons.

4 years on, I’ve got grade 5, and am having to work bloody hard to get my theory before I take grade 6. My parents (both being classical music people)love this and can’t understand why I want to waste my time with the ‘twee dancy stuff’.

Even though I’ve explained on numerous occasions that I’m the one playing the flute, that they don’t have to listen, and that most classical music is descended from folk/ITM/scottish etc anyway, it is STILL a constant battle with them. I’m not trying to tell them folk music is the best full stop, I’m just saying that in MY opinion folk/ITM/scottish etc is more preferable.

So now you know the long and sad tale of a (nearly!) 14 year old girl and her constant struggle to play the music she likes…..*sob sob*

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My violin teacher hated me for playing trad, so last year I gave up classical violin and only play trad now :^)

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My wife and I gave our daughters plenty of exposure to traditional music. When we weren’t playing it ourselves or on the stereo, we were taking them to concerts and festivals — especially Old Songs in upstate NY, which we’ve attended for more than 10 years now.
As they went further into elementary school and then into middle school, they began picking up on the "popular" stuff, and our house was full of Spice Girls, Hanson, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, etc.
But our older girl (now 17) took up morris dancing (which I do as well) when she was barely 9, so she developed a connection of her own to traditional music and dance. The kids in her group(s) helped her to explore the music and dance, supplementing what my wife and I imparted to her.
Our younger one (15) hasn’t participated in these activities, and doesn’t have as close an association with traditional music and dance.
But as we’ve continued going to Old Songs and other events, she’s found some performers, like Barachois and Halali, that she really enjoys listening to.

So, in our household, you’re apt to see our 17-year-old listening to the likes of Halali, Fairport Convention, Kate Rusby, Ani DiFranco, Indigo Girls and Dar Williams. Our 15-year-old, meanwhile, while she’s more likely to put on Mudvayne, Liz Phair (pre-2003), Slipknot or Marilyn Manson, is also quite happy with Halali or Ashley MacIsaac.
And both of them are interested enough to listen to me play songs or tunes, albeit to varying degrees.

I think our experience and philosophy parallels that of Sunnybear (interestingly enough, we home-schooled our kids, too, although just for a year). You can’t exactly lead them to the water, let alone make them drink it; but maybe you can at least show them how the water twists and turns, runs fast or slow, deep and shallow, and sometimes you may find they choose to drink at a spot near you.

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As a music teacher who teaches lots of adults as well as kids - here’s a bit of hope. Lots of people rediscover, or reinvent, their interest in music at various stages in their lives.

Sometimes this happens at university, when the kid who gave up the violin or piano at some stage suddenly finds friends who think it’s cool to play the fiddle, or keyboard. For a few, it may be rekindled when their own children start to play. For a growing number. though, it happens when their own kids are well up, or maybe leaving home, and they have more free time - or even (gasp) at retirement.

Don’t forget, you are preparing your kids for life. Their whole life. People can’t play music with passion unless they are good and ready. If you’ve given them the opportunity to have fun with music and gain some basic skills, you have given them something wonderful indeed, which they can always reconnect with.

The best way to get your kids to like your music is to try to like and understand theirs, IMHO.

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Is there any good rap out there? That’s what they want.

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I played tin whistle for a year when I was about 10 and I hated it, really despised it and just didnt want to do it. I grew up with trad/folk music, my father was a musician and all my parents friends. I went to festivals and sessions all the time and regularly fell asleep under the tables which was ok because my parents bribed me with crisps and lemonade. When I was almost 18 (dragged to another festival by my mother) I was in a session and *Bang* all of a sudden I thought - ‘this music is great! Maybe I should learn something’. I Had a fiddle in the house and havent looked back since. It took 18 years of hearing this music before I had any interest in it at all. So there is hope for your boys yet. Ps I still love all kinds of other music - including hip hop.

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"We home school both kids, so there is no peer pressure from public school"

That’s the key. Peer presure is what ruins them. And peer pressure is powerful. I have always been homeschooled, and as a consequence, I am much more free to choose things in life that I know I will like, instead of being forced to choose what everybody else likes, on pain of being rejected by them. I don’t have to constantly worry about whether or not I’m going to "fit in" with everybody else. I don’t have to worry about liking everything my freinds like, I can do what I really want. I am so grateful to my parents for homeschooling me, that was what made me able to choose my interests for myself.

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Hey Max (I’ll answer your email sooner or later 🙂 - yes, many homeschool kids turn out to be independent thinkers, but so do plenty of public school kids. Some of us use the conformity to rebel against it. I suppose some of us are just born that way. 🙂

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"Whatever was I thinking when I let them start public school?"

There is one of those classic confusions here. In Europe, what is refered to as Public school is actually private school. The question is, did you pay for a private educaton for them? I think this mattersa

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rocking bow: Yes, though I know very little of it. Try Jazzmatazz volume II, hosted by GURU.

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My girl Roisin (13) professes absolutely no interest in The Music. She’s going through her piano grades and is doing well there, has the violin (not fiddle) at school, and has about one tune off on the box. She also has some bits on the ‘lectrical geetar. She’s finding her own way.

Maybe it’s a big bad dad thing that she doesn’t want to emulate me, whatever. I had to suffer listening to Bing Crosby endlessly in my formative years, so I think I know where she’s coming from.

She doesn’t hate me, but is sure enough developing an iconoclastic attitude towards me, or rather my musical "hegemony", as she sees it. And good for her. But there is still a bit of me deep down that wishes she’d gone for the traditionl flute or fiddle, I have to admit.

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Yeah Will, I have friends that have gone through public schools, who are very good, smart, independent-thinking people. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to bash public schooling as much as state that peer pressure (which is very strong in public schools) is the reason so many kids like me end up listening to rap and not caring for anything else.

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Our kids don’t like any rap/hip-hop..I don’t think this is really what kids want, but what the peer groups are into, so kids follow along.(clothes are the same way..who REALLY wants to wear pants that are falling down exposing the crack of your butt?)

No one makes fun of my music, and I don’t make fun of theirs…we all really have a mutual respect for each other..I can’t make them like anything anyway…why try? They do see me getting pleasure and having fun playing, and that in itself is a great influence no matter what the choice in music

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What is this "rap music"? Is it spelled with a silent "c"? 🙂
Trevor

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accept their music! try and enjoy it, even if its bad. my parents never discouraged or encouraged me in my music, so it was by myself. they would help me out of i asked, but they never sought out if i need help, and they still dont. well… except for the concertina. my mom loves it so much. she was gonna send me to noel hill’s concertina camp without me even knowing it existed but it conflicted with irish fest.

the point is, too much encouragement can be bad as well as too little. see if they could play some music with you, that they liked. maybe some nu metal or some really bad rock. if they get used to you playing with them, maybe they’d be willing to play with *you* on your music. it cant be about you controlling them. it has to be about you being with them. if you cant share their interests, why do you expect them to share yours?

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snowy owl - that is ridiculous, and sad that you quit classical, but it was better than staying with them. my classical teacher loves that i play irish, and always says that he feels bad he cant help me with my irish stuff. when we have time in lessons i play stuff for him and he helps me get it in time and not rush. he does however, say that i should practice my classical more, but not practice my irish less!

sunny bear- my older brother played metal for years, and i was the only one who played trad in my family. i was in middle school so i was horrible, but i kept up with it. now, my brother doesnt play metal at all, only plays his acoustic (rarely his guitar) and only plays folk music, and is good enough to go into a session and just play with the musicians, not hearing the tunes before (we were at a session once, and i had my bro sit by brett lipschutz, who is a friend of my uncles, and my bro asked him to tell him if it ever didnt sound good, and only once did brett stop playing and tell him to listen to the song), so there is hope for your son yet! just ilke i said before, dont push. if he really is into music he’ll get into european progressive metal, which is technical, and then he’ll get into folk music cuz they’re both in the same spirit of making music that isnt cookie cutter mcdonald pop. i’ve been playing flute and whistle trad longer than my brother’s been playing trad guitar, but he’s the one who can keep up at sessions, not me!

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ALL schools; i know this has very little to do with trad but o well

this is a response to max becher’s post in the "being hated part 2" thread. it was too long and too off task to go in the thread, so here’s its own he said:

"’We home school both kids, so there is no peer pressure from public school’

That’s the key. Peer presure is what ruins them. And peer pressure is powerful. I have always been homeschooled, and as a consequence, I am much more free to choose things in life that I know I will like, instead of being forced to choose what everybody else likes, on pain of being rejected by them. I don’t have to constantly worry about whether or not I’m going to "fit in" with everybody else. I don’t have to worry about liking everything my freinds like, I can do what I really want. I am so grateful to my parents for homeschooling me, that was what made me able to choose my interests for myself."

here is my response:

i am glad that worked out for you. some people just arent fit for the public (craptacular) education system. but you have to keep in mind some arent fit for homeschooling either. some people become awkward and unsocial, and some people become independent and strong minded like you. and there are 1000’s of inbetweens! growing up being the only male flutist all the kids had heard of, plus my other eccentricities, really taught me to not care what people thought. back then, they called me gay, and girly, and thought i was stupid. they even did at the beginning of high school. now since i practice all the time, and play my whistle all over school during free time and outside, and during marching band play trad on flute, i have gained a lot of respect from it. but i had to fought tooth and nail for it my whole life. there are still some people who dont like my playing at all, but sometimes people get more mad when jerks make me stop than the jerks themselves were.

but i do agree, completely. public education is horrible. but for some people, like me, social contact is a must. but it did almost squish me like a bug. i cant deal with the hw, and the tests, and everything else. i can not deal with the teaching style. i cant stand making myself submit to something that is stupid and illogical, which school is. i am now in a class at another high school in my district for half the day, where its all independent work, i get along well with teh teacher, and there is leeway in how i want to complete my assignments and in that environment i am thriving. because i am so independent, school doesnt work for me, instead of making me non indendent i just dug my heels in. its hard tot ake some one who teaches themselves 5 or so languages, the flute, concertina, harmonica, and someone who tries to figure out how to be fair and figure out how people think down to the most minute level and say, "sit in class while i lecture at you, dont get you interested, dont make sure you understand, for 8 hours a day and like it".

and its not just me. if you got to any class room in america, and you look at the students, the majority of the time, they will be staring at the teacher and look like they are dying. that is not how people learn! testing just test bothers me. when all the kids fail a test, they dont teach the stuff again and test again, they just keep going. because its not about teaching or learning, its about covering material, saying it to the students faces, and testing them on it. not about teaching it to them or interacting with them. i speak more spanish than a lot of kids in my school who have taken 4 years of spanish, and i only studied spanish for a month by myself and forgot most of it! there is something wrong with that. when i see how they teach languages it makes me sick. its the best example of the problem with schools; you dont learn languages by taking tests and doing hw and writing essays, and covering vocabulary. you learn languages by talking. a language class should be talking almost 100% of the time. no lecturing, no reading, just discussing.


ok. i’m gonna stop. sorry about the tangent! but it almost fits. we’re talking about how my generation just doesnt care and thats right, they dont. but also, the schools dont care. at all. they dont give a damn about us. the school system is based of off prisons, and i am not joking. not saying that we’re in jail, but it was modeled after a french philosophers theoretical construction of a prison and how ot keep the prisoners in line. does anyone know the name of the philosopher? i have heard and read this many times, but i forget who it is. maybe this deserves to be in another thread.

haha, as you can tell, i wrote it in the other thread and then just realized i should put it here and didnt post it there. so i’m not gonna edit that ending. i dont care! its midnight and i honestly should go to bed.

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Re: ALL schools; i know this has very little to do with trad but o well

maybe i shouldve proof read it:

*testing just TO test bothers me…


and maybe that "its hard to teach someone this that that that" was unnecessary and arrogant. sorry if it was. not trying to brag. originally i didnt intend on it being so long, so i didnt want to go into how i teach myself t hings. haha, if i had really gone into it, i wouldve described in too much detail, so i guess a little ill placed accidental vanity is better for the reader than well placed long winded mini essays in essays, hahaha.

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Re: ALL schools; i know this has very little to do with trad but o well

Yeah, as I said in the other thread, I’m not bashing the public school system (even though I personally disagree with their teaching methods, and would never want to attend one myself), I was only trying to state that peer pressure is super-strong in public schools, and that it really takes a strong person to stand up to that. Obviously, homeschooling is not for everyone (few things are) but one really good aspect of it is the lack of peer pressure.

Ok, to go off the topic just a bit:

"a language class should be talking almost 100% of the time. no lecturing, no reading, just discussing."

I totally agree. I think discussion is the best way to run a class. Discussion helps you to speak your mind and organize your thoughts. It involves active participation, not passive listening. Lecturing and reading both have their places, but they should only be fuel for discussion. Just my humblest of opinions.

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Hey at least your kids are still playing music. And yes it would be wonderful if our interests and paths fell in line with what out parents wanted for us, but in my experience, this is very rare. Be happy that they are enjoying music, regardless of the genre. I know too many people to whom any kind of music is merely "background noise".

Re: ALL schools; i know this has very little to do with trad but o well

I have always been homeschooled (except for a horrid 3 weeks, when I tried school at age 6) and believe that you can learn sooo much more at home, because you can take your time and go in depth. I will probably be going into a private international school next year, to try it out and so I can take the required exams and have the possibility of going to college.

Athena

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Both my parents played music, but my mother had long given up (due to too much parent pressure) by the time we arrived. My dad played a little giutar. I was the first in our family to want to play music, and my parents encouraged me, and helped me through the first few really hard years. We always listened to lots of different kinds of music. By the time I was about 8, I was going strong. My main problem was that I had no one to play with. I was playing for my teacher. That’s when I started the Fleadhs, as it was something to work towards.
Even if your kids are young, have them play duets and trios with other kids. They won’t want to look bad in front of their musical peers.

Athena

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I didn’t mean to say that public or private school wasn’t fit for some people..I was just stating what works for us so far

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I know its far too late in the thread, but both this thread and the other on the subject have signally failed to distinguish between being despised or mocked, and being hated.

I think it very unlikely from all that has been written this thread and the other that anyone is actually hated for playing diddly music. Many of us are mocked or derided by those who despise us, but hatred is an altogether different thing.

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Yeah, last night I overheard a testosterone-loaded beefneck bar-propper-upper make a snide comment about opening the front door to put us out, as we went from the back bar through to the front.

Do I care?

Couldn’t give I toss.

Get a life? - get an IQ first, mate.

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Being hated, despised, or mocked…they are all cousins of the same emotional narrow mind…

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Rab . . Those sort of people are just jealous and envious . . call it what you like. They don’t like the fact that we as musicians are the focus of attention,in a pub say.The worlds full of big brussan b******s like the bloke you described Rab who have no talent or special attributes for anything . . just big horrible gobs.

Encourage… that’s it.

"they are just trying to get back at me for being critical of their interests, but hey, these guys have an enormous amount of talent and ability that they’ve flushed down the toilet"

If you’re critical of their interests, what do you expect? My parents encouraged me no matter what I wanted to do, even if they didn’t like it. Just as long as what I put to doing was done to my best abilities. If you are critical of teenagers, you can *expect* it in return. Secondly, how do you know they are flushing their talents down the toilet?! Perhaps they are brewing an alternate use for those talents and just haven’t found that use yet. Have you ever heard of transferable skills? Their only kids and have a lifetime to figure out what it is they want to do with their brains. Maybe music just isn’t it, maybe it will come back to them someday. But in the meantime get over it, just encourage them to find what interests them and then to do it to their best ability.

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Encourage… that’s it.

"They’re"…not…"their" above. appologies.

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The point is, even kids are individual people, right? As parents, if you expect them to be clones of yourselves, that’s just not realistic, or particularly healthy. Why on earth should they share your sense of "good taste"?

My sons both play music, but what they play is up to them. If they want to rock out with tons of distortion and feedback, that’s fine with me—*because at least they’re playing music.* Regardless of the genre, they’re learning loads about rhythm, timing, tone, intonation, chord theory, scales, how to set lyrics to music and vice versa, etc. They can play by ear, sight read, and have taught themselves to read tablature and chord charts. And they thoroughly enjoy it all—no doubt in large part because us parents have butted out and left the choices up to them.

After thrashing away on electric guitar for a few years, my oldest started picking up the acoustic, and that’s carried him into other styles of music beyond punk, grunge, and hard rock. He even plays a few trad tunes now—better than I do.

Parents exist to show their kids the trailhead. But it’s up to the kids which path to take.

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I’m slightly amazed that any father expects his sons to follow the path he lays out for them if they have any gumption at all.

Rebelliousness is in the genes or hormones I would have thought, at least in my family.

I went to some lengths to see that both my sons had some musical education, (piano lessons), but despite being very good at it, eldest chucked it and taught himself guitar, and yougest chucked it altogether once we gave him the option. They were both about 13 when this happened, and peer pressure or fear of peer pressure almost definitely played a part, but they have learned to deal with that in their school environment.

Eldest is still only 16 but has his own rock group (Ok they’re crap but …), plays guitar in the school soul band, and does solo acoustic folk and country (country is cool now it seems) spots at open mikes. He still plays piano when he feels like it and can pick out a fiddle tune or two on the mandolin. Youngest has other hobbies but is still keen on music, and both have a subliminal knowledge of traditional music because it’s always around - they are probably unaware of it yet both can instinctively tell the difference between a Scots fiddler and an Irish one for example.

That’s about as much as a dad of teenagers can reasonably ask for in my opinion - they’ll come to the music if and when they want to.

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And by the way, I always criticise them. I have long since learned that dad’s enthusiastic approval is the kiss of death to any of their endeavours.
Make ‘em earn their praise, they’ll try so much harder to prove you wrong.

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**sigh**

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I tried to get my two sons (now 15 and 17) to learn and play ITM but to no avail, but I didn’t push very hard. Both started with piano but one has stayed with the piano (and learning guitar) while the other is heavy into drums. The have a garage rock band with two other friends and since we have the drummer, all the jams are at our house. So I decided to enter into their world and set up a digital home recording studio for them (which was far more work and much more complex than I ever expected). It was really a great experience for everyone. They have even asked me to put in some fiddle background tracks although I am just learning the fiddle. They know the contra dance and ITM music because they hear it all the time and don’t complain. I am sure if there were some musicians their age playing ITM they would jump right in. I tell them that what is going to happen is that at some point in the future, the bug will bite them and they will come back to want to play ITM with me and my wife. I tell them though, that they better hurry up and not wait till we are too old and contorted to play anymore. The bottom line for me is that they play and enjoy music everyday.

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Every generation seems to struggle with their kids listening to and playing "the Devil’s music:" Strauss, Chuck Berry, Elvis, the Stones, metal, punk… I suspect my mom back in Dublin is appalled that I took up ITM - particularly on the banjo - because she always associated this stuff with drunken fleadhs and Ronnie Drew.

My son’s passionate about heavy metal. He’s devoting as much passion into technical mastery of his electric guitar, distortion and all, as I can remenber putting into anything. And I’m thrilled. I caught myself at first trying to steer him away into something I would have considered more "acceptable", but finally caught on that this is something he chose and is putting a lot of hard work into doing properly. What more could I ask for?

I did my penance by taking him to a Metallica concert. A couple of ear plugs, and it might have sounded pretty good…

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Heh, we’ve taken our boys to a couple of punk concerts and enjoyed the heck out of it ourselves. I praise their guitar playing every chance I get, in front of their friends and mine, so the kids know (1) that I listen to what they play, and (2) that I support their interest in music, period. My boys also like the looks on their friends’ faces when I recognize bands and songs on heavy rock radio, or when I pick up the Les Paul and play along with them on a tune their parents wouldn’t be caught dead just *listening* to.

I’ve always reminded my kids that people respond with passion to music played with passion, and to follow their own passions.

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Yes, it’s all about passion. I had a conversation with fiddlemouse Sara a few weeks back about this very subject. And she made a comment that pops into my head every time I think one of my daughters is ‘wasting her talent’. She said something to the effect that you have to figure out what it is that "you can’t not do". And at this point in their lives, that would be something different than music, trad or otherwise. They have the ability, they have been exposed to a very wide variety of music, and they play. But their passions lie elsewhere at the moment. That is hard for a parent to watch, but ya gotta do it.

Besides, they expose me to music that I would NEVER have bothered with. So I learn a thing or two from them.

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Hell, I’m nearly 46 and I still don’t know where my passion lies. Multi-tasking, perhaps. 🙂

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Get back to work, Will. ;-]

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LOL, while perusing the threads here, I just wrapped up a phone interview, submitted a magazine article by email, and updated a client on a meeting next week. But I do have a porch roof to finish and 100 pages of editing to get to. Sigh.

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*sigh* My 7-month old son already has a better sense of rhythm than I ever will. He sleeps to Catherine & John McEvoy’s Kilmore Fancy every night, and whenever he’s in his litte bouncy thing, he flails his arms and legs in perfect time to the music…

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"litte" = "little", sorry.

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Since my "thesession.org" time is usually 2 minute snippets, it took me all day to read this thread. I appreciate hearing the comments from others - makes me feel like our family is more "normal" to hear others voice experiences similar to ours. Both of our older sons (ages 17 & 20) play guitar & drums, and a little bit of keyboard. Both went through 1 -2 year phases with clarinet and/or sax. Both are more interested in their generation’s music, but have an appreciation for mom & dad’s music too, and occasionally join in with us. Most of what I might have said has already been said in this thread, so I’ll just say "me too" 🙂.

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Just to, er, amplify the more recent comments by Will and Batlady, I’m grateful to my kids for exposing _me_ to music I might not have heard otherwise, or at least might not listen to as often: Dar Williams, Ani DiFranco, Liz Phair, even System of a Down. (I could have done without Mudvayne, but…)

I forgot to mention in my earlier reply that my older one is teaching herself guitar, and has drawn inpiration from Dar, Ani, Indigo Girls — and, yes, Simon and Garfunkel, Joni Mitchell and Judy Collins, too.
My younger girl’s instrument of choice is her voice, and listening to the various combination of rock, folk and even country helped her to stop singing in an affected, fake voice and instead try to find her own.
So they’ve both found their own way to make music part of their lives, and I couldn’t be happier.

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Re: Being hated…part 2

I do think it is important to ‘convince’ younger kids to stick at it. ALthough obviously you want to do this as amicably as possible.

I was fortunate in that at only 15ish I met other friends that were into the music. As soon as I was allowed off to the summer festivals, I was there. The music then progressed as I discovered that doors that opened because of it. i liVed haPpiLy eVer arFTer. thE eNd

It’s true though, the only way they’ll want to play is if it’s fun. MOST KIDS - find summer-schools, summer festivals fun. So that’s probaly how i’d encourage mine. Although I don’t plan that to be for a few years yet. I’m 21!

Oh and even my most anti~folk friends have always been impressed at how much I can earn an hour. ‘tis better than most part-time jobs when you’re 17!

Alex

Re: Being hated…part 2

Nice try, Showaddy, think Will had a go at the same thing too, on one or other of this pair of threads.

Didn’t someone once say, "they start with bad English and end with bad theology", meaning inaccurate language sometimes contributes to muddy thinking?

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Re: Being hated…part 2

When I was a child my parents put my brothers and sisters and I into playing Irish Music. Every Friday we would go to Martin Mulvihill in Yonkers to practice and boy did we hate it!!! Even when my parents would play music at home, (both play the button accordion)it was so annoying. Now I am 29 and love everything about Irish Music. All those tunes that my parents played has stayed with me and I have been able to learn them. Maybe when your children grow up they will have the same appreciation. Every now and then I get together with my parents just to play a few tunes (I play the piano accordion). My brothers and sisters do not play, but one out of five isn’t bad!!!—- Although they all enjoy the music. Don’t give up on your children, they are just going with the flow of what life is offering them at this point. You keep playing your music at home and one day they might surprise you!!! I know I have surprised my parents.

Re: Being hated…part 2

hey snowyowl…this is marissa here from the island girls. so people at school hate you for playing trad? i went through a lot of that in middle school (over here in canada, grades 7,8 and 9) and a bit in grade 10. now i’m 16 and in grade 11, and it’s not a big deal. in fact, most people know about our band and think it’s pretty cool. i admit, it was really hard a few years ago. but it will all work out in the end. at the end of last year, the hottest, coolest guy in my school came up to me and told me he has our cd and thinks we’re great. it depends on the person, i guess. if you love what you’re doing, the rest of them don’t matter! 🙂

Re: Being hated…part 2

When I was in my early 20s, my dad’s mother came to visit one summer. She was from an old, very English Ontario family, and rarely came out West to visit the grandchildren, so we didn’t know her very well. My dad had my brother and I over for dinner, and he asked us to play some music for her. So here’s us playing a couple of hornpipes and some jigs for this 85 year-old matron. After a bit, she turns to my dad and says, "That’s… that’s DOGEN MUSIC!!!"

Apparently she wasn’t as hard of hearing as she let on. That incident still makes me laugh, especially because it was one of Dad’s few attempts to show us that he approved of the music we played, and it kind of backfired.

Since then we’ve been mocked, reviled, praised, paid, and had a continuous supply of free beer. I don’t think we’ve been hated, but I really don’t care any more - I just want to play more tunes.

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