Hairy Members

Hairy Members

In keeping with a personal devotional attitude to the Xmas season, and as a useful technical contributor to this site, I’d like some opinions on the following:
I showed Aidan’s webpage to a work colleague the other day, so that she’d know what we looked like. Her comment was that the players were very hairy (she did not even exclude me). Only Aidan has a beard, so I assume that she based her comments on other hairy parts of the body (it was hot and many shirts were largely unbuttoned).
Anyway, I do play at an English session where 4 out 5 accordion players sport a beautiful thick beard (yes, there are 5 accordion players), but only 1 in 5 fiddlers has a beard (a white haired beauty). So, are we hairier than non players? How many session members feel happier with a hairy growth on their face? Or is it mostly an English session or accordion player thing?
And no double entendres please, I never get those.

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You mean like the title of your post? πŸ™‚

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I was just commenting to someone yesterday that it seems like all of the musicians I know have beards right now. They are jazz, classical and pop/rock players not ITM. Must be a general musician thing.
I find beards sexy, anyone else feel that way?

Mary

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I don’t get it πŸ™‚

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Good one Orson

Mary

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No, I don’t like beards - my husband’s growing one and I don’t even want to kiss him in fact…. no, I almost went for a double entendre one despite myself here!

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I think beards happen mainly because men don’t want to shave. But they certainly make a man look extinguished.

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>> I find beards sexy, anyone else feel that way?

I was going to answer this, but realised that itself would be another double entendre. You’ve opened a can of worms here Cath πŸ™‚

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… but I’m sure someone less shy than me will come up with the same reply … just before Jeremy kicks them off the board πŸ™‚

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Can I quote you on that last sentence Zina - this is marvellous.

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Gasp, Zina, are you saying I look *old*?!?!?!

I hate shaving, but I’ve had a beard for more than 20 years now because it keeps me warm in winter, hides scars, stores leftover food, and scares away inadvertent children and small dogs.

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I’ve always thought that accordions and beards represent an accident just waiting to happen. I picture Joe Burke getting the oul’ facial apparatus getting stuck in the bellows when he’s on a push-stroke and damn near pulling his features off!

I can see fiddlers wanting to avoid a beard … hard enough to keep the yoke trapped between chin and shoulder without a huge cushion of coarse mattress-stuffing to accommodate as well.

One of the hazards of sporting a beard is that when drinking from one those new design beer cans … the ones that continue to wear their ring pull after opening as opposed to the old type that ripped off completely … an occasional moustache-hair gets jammed in the "mechanism" which leads to the odd twinge as you finish your swally. Momentarily very painful, which leads me to wonder why anyone would pay to have a drastic waxing!!

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Yeah, or if you wear an anorak, you can get your hairs caught in the zip!

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So that’s why pipers tend not to have long beards,aidan.Can you imagine,in addition to all that tuning up,there’d be all that dis-entangling..

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I sported a beard on different occasions during my twenties and early thirties. It made me look a bit older as I was apparently a bit baby faced.
Unfortunately, I haven’t had that problem for years.
πŸ™
The only thing that gets a bit hairy these days is my playing. πŸ™‚

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Um, who drinks beer out of a *can*?!?!?!

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gosh this is a fast growing thread!

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The topic has a certain virility to it….

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I’d never kiss a man with a beard.

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And it’s sorta turning into the shape of a loooong beard,cath

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Ahhh..feck it.just cut meself.blasht it.there’s blood everywhere

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It’s going to reach all the way down to the floor at this rate

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you should know there’s no floor.just a bottomless pit

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Beards are great for smuggling bones and shakey eggs into sessions.

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but wouldya ever get a bodhran into wan??

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And like wear it like a giant collar

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If only David Blunkett (temporary ex hairy member) could see this thread! Beards are a great conversation (hair)piece.

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But how could he see it cath?

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You cruel, cruel person, Cath..

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I don’t think Cath meant that deliberately, Cunnia.
:-0)

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Hairy members of parliament?

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I was just being a sick b@stard here - my apologies. Still did you see his mistress? She looks beautiful, but seems quite nasty, so what exactly attracted him?

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Thanks John, you went one better πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

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Now get ready for the scissors lads.any minute now

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Personally, I really don’t like kissing men with mustaches and beards. I’m always wondering how recently they washed the thing out. Luckily (TO BRING IT BACK TO THE MUSIC), most guys at sessions aren’t people I’d want to kiss anyway… ;)

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Oh, you’ve disappointed me now Zina! I’d be just as well to grow a beard . πŸ™

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And i’d just cut mine off

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We’re still on about beards right cunnla?

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Now who was it said no double entendres???

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Dear Cunnla, I’ve not used to being taken seriously πŸ™‚

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your razor-sharp wit is doin me in

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Lol, if we’re on to personal hygiene, I could tell a story about a little piece of popcorn….

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Oh no, pun alert!
Will, pray, tell us about that piece of popcorn

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Johnny J, the exceptions always prove the rule. ;) I’ve kissed Will. Er, on the cheek. What I could find of it.

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So I’ve gone from being extinguished to exceptional? πŸ™‚

Cath, let’s just say that some of us keep our facial hair well cleaned, combed, and washed, soft and ready for kissing. Better than stubbly bare skin any day. But apparently not everyone flosses their teeth daily….

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Oops…that should be followed with πŸ˜€

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Why do bald men always have a beard? Is it to prove that they can grow facial hair or is it purely physcilogical?

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Well, actually, that’s the only time I find a beard attractive - on a bald man - I guess you need hair somehwere.
No jokes about Brazilian wax treatment as yet.
And yes, Will, a beard IS better than stubble, a bit…

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Was that a spelling mistake or could you not make up your mind whether to say physiological or phsycological? πŸ™‚

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Cath, that’s a coincidence. David B had a beard and Charles C is a stubble man.

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I wonder what they wash it with…..plain soap…. head and shoulders…..washing up liquid…..beer…..

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oh, spelling mistake

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Damn this brain cell!

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Blad men with beards reminds me of of something I once heard sung.

She had long hair all down her back, none on her heard but all down her back.

YUCK

Mary

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I guess it’s a slow day on the ‘ol yellow board today.

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Gotta get these off my ex-hairy chest : Greatest book ever - "My vision of the future", David Blunkett.

A woman walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entendre - so he gave her one.

Me - clean shaven, short hair, nae worries.

Jim

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Great stuff Jim, and David B accusing his mistress of ‘mesmerising’ someone!

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Nobody’s mentioned "Hairy Mary" yet, Cath. You’ve maybe met her up in Glasgow. If not, I’m sure Danny has. πŸ˜‰


Cod Liver Oil And The Orange Juice
(Ron Clark / Carl McDougall)

Oot o’ the East there came a hard man
Oh oh, a’ the way frae Brigton
Ah haw, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

He went intae a pub, an’ he cam oot paralytic
Oh oh, VP [or Lanliq] an’ cider
Ah haw, what a helluva mixture …

(Spoken: Sex rears its ugly head now …)

Does this bus go tae the Dennistoun Palais
I’m looking for a lumber
Ah haw, glory hallelujah …

(Eyes up the talent … and lo and behold!)

In the dancin’ he met Hairy Mary
Oh oh, the floo’er o’ the Gorbals
Ah haw, glory hallelujah …

(Chats her up …)

Oh noo Mary, are ye dancin’
Naw, naw, it’s jist the way ah’m stannin’
Ah haw, glory hallelujah …

(Rebuffed …)

Oh Mary, yer wan in a million
Oh oh, so’s yer chances
Ah haw, glory hallelujah …

(Rebuffed again!)

Well then Mary, can ah run ye hame
Oh oh, ah’ve got a pair o’ sandshoes
Ah haw, yer helluva funny …

(Never say die … sways aboot nonchalantly,
picks his nails wi’ his bayonet -
and hew knocks it off!)

Doon through the back close an’ intae the dunny
It wasnae for the first time
Ah haw, glory hallelujah …

Then oot cam her mammy, she’s goin’ tae the cludgie
Oh oh, ah buggered off sharpish
Ah haw, glory hallelujah …

Hairy Mary looking for her hard man
Oh oh, he’s jined the Foreign Legion
Ah haw, Sahara an’ ra camels …

Then Hairy Mary had a little baby
Oh oh, its faither’s in the Army
Ah haw, glory hallelujah …

(East - Glasgow’s east end; Brigton - the Glasgow suburb of Bridgeton)
(VP, Lanliq - cheap fortified wines)
(Dennistoun Palais - dance hall in the east end suburb of Dennistoun)
(Gorbals - former Glasgow inner-city slum district)
(sandshoes - sneakers)
(dunny - tenement passage or basement)
(cludgie - shared toilet in tenement blocks)


As sung by Hamish Imlach

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I dunno, I kind of think stubble is sexy. Sort of like "bedroom hair" on a woman (or so I’m told, as when I have "bedroom hair" and look at it, I just think "must brush hair" whereas my husband seems to think "something to pull" or some other opaque male thing…).

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Where I live, a beard is *de rigeur* - the only way to avoid severe frostbite. My wife has one too.

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Isn’t Harry a member of this site?

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We all do it to hide our double chins.

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"Oh he had that hair all around his mouth,
Like he swallered a mule an’ left the tail hangin’ out…"

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"Mountain Goat in divorce action" will be in tomorrow’s papers!

Jim

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Why… don’t all goats have beards?

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Big appetites for Christmas …..

"How do you like your steak, sir?"

"Horns removed, arse / ass wiped".

Jim

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Zina mentioned stubble….not sure I agree with that sentiment entirely…..I suppose it’s either sexy designer stubble, or scruffy git who can’t be bothered to shave….(not that I find stubble sexy, even on a woman πŸ™‚)

Jim

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Well, Im the hairest guy at the sessions I go to here in Tokyo.
Come to think of it, Im just about the only foreigner at the sessions.
Though not as long as it use to be, I let my beard grow for 27 months without shaving. Everyone called me ZZ after ZZ Top.
Got tired of having to shampoo and blow dry the beast. Now its just a tad longer then stuble.

-Brad

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Well, the top of my head is beginning to mourn the loss of its blanket..but I’m told it’s due to high testosterone levels. So where you lose in one department you gain in another….


HEH HEH HEH!!!

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I searched for ‘hairy’ under members.

There is:
Big Hairy Horse
HairyDave
hairymary

So there were at least three so far.

Hairy Christmas everyone!

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in case of food shortages - men/women with beards can sustain themselves longer due to past embedded meals.

perhaps someone will invent a teflon spray-on that sheds those dribbles of egg yolk as they fall off the fork only to encrust themselves almost immediately

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I vote for beards. My husband has one extending about midway down his chest, and other than the fact that he has to move it to one side when I want to snuggle down on his shoulder, I love it. Stubble, no; stubble HURTS.
He washes it daily, btw. With plain old bar soap, or with shampoo. It’s always clean and well-kept.
The house session I attend (to bring it back to the music! *grin*) has 3 guys with beards and about 7 or 8 clean-shaven. The local pub session (which I don’t play in) seems to be about evenly divided, based on obeservation when I’ve been there to down a pint and listen..

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In my twenties and thirties, I looked like Captain Birds-eye but as I got less and less on top, some wag renamed me Upside-Down-Head so I answered to UDH.
Nowadays I get number one dog clippers over the top (my grandfather would have called it a Prussian Crop).

I went to do a concert in Wakefield Prison last week. The inmates are all in for 20 years plus so have seen us many times before and they have pet names for us all - usually from soaps as that is all they watch - one reprobate came up and told me they call me Uncle Fester.
Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas.

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My ex over twenty years was both bearded and non. I definately prefered bearded. Not quite sure why but you could always tell when he had been drinking guinness.

J

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This will probably get me evicted from thesession, so in case it does, farewell and it’s been nice knowing most of you. (Ah for God’s sake, man it”s Christmas … try harder!) Sorry … it’s been nice knowing you. (That’s better. Proceed!)

To the tune of "The Hot Asphalt".

I am a comely female and my name is Mary Flynn
A face to launch a thousand ships and my box is nicely trimmed
I play my box by evening and I play my box by day
But to play the box-and-banjo sure it takes my breath away

Chorus
I am a comely female and my name is Mary Flynn
A face to launch a thousand ships and my box is neatly-trimmed

On a recent date, I’ll now relate, at a session where I go
Yer man sits down fornent me and takes out his oul banjo
"Do you like my Little Wonder?" "Ah" says I "no mind the size
But the way that you are playing it brings tears into my eyes"

Chorus

He fiddled with his yoke before the session did begin
And I asked him most politely, "Tell me, is your banjo in?"
Says he "No need to question, for when I’m in you’ll know
For the sweetest music ever heard is the box-and-the-banjo."

Chorus

All night we made sweet music, all night we two did play
And it wasn’t till the morning that he put his yoke away
Says I "My brisk young fella, we played so well we two
From now on to play my box alone, it simply will not do"

Chorus

Says he "My fair young damsel, your point is so well-made
For to play my banjo solo now, just doesn’t make the grade
I’ll pluck no more my banjo when there’s no-one else around
Cos for now the box-and-banjo is the only game in town"

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What a lovely song, Aidan, and how nice to hear about a banjo that was in tune, for once.

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Is that a song about "diddling", using the American sense of the word?

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Touching song.

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A big hand for Aidan, our hairy banjo player!!!

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And a big hand to Cath and Billy for introducing me to a quaint phrase for the "other" sort of diddling, i.e. "playing the hairy banjo".

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We share because we care Aidan πŸ™‚

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And congratulations for a song full of innuendos that did not mention a whistle or a flute!

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… or shaky eggs …

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Unwanted image:
Hairy shaky eggs.
aargh, go away!

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I’m pro-beard. My theory is that they harbour pheromones. What more can I say? πŸ™‚

I was going to ask if that song is about Angelina Carberry and Martin Quinn, except that the instruments are the wrong way round…

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Only two issues in regard to hairy members, bearded women and bearded guys that comb it over their bald spot.

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I’m too old and lazy to read any of the replies here - but in response to the original post:

A beard is not something you grow, it just happens. It is a part of the natural state of the face of most men. You do not "grow" a beard, any more than you "grow" arms and legs.

Shaving is unnatural - do people who shave their faces also shave other parts of the body? (rhetorical question, no replies please).

And why do so many american men have those silly "just round the mouth" growths that make their face look like a Rottweiler’s bottom?

Merry Christmas everybody.

Dave

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Yes I agree tottaly showaddydaito. Shaving is as unnatural as sticking holes in your body to dangle ornaments from. As for you last comment… It’s to reflect their personality.

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bj … I take it you ran that last comment past your lawyers before you posted it?

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bj - is that also not short for something else. Maybe I should go back to work and keep my (glabrous) head down.

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Glabrous? Is that glamorous with a cold?

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Glabrous means hairless - I was just being a show off

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But I also like your own definition of it - could almost apply to me as I had a stinking cold last week, unfortunately, not glamorous enough though

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Great word, though! Like something coined by Lear.

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Cath: Keeping your hairless head down. Are you BALD?

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No, just grey πŸ™‚
I was referring to a beard here - some people just aren’t paying any attention. This has been a busy and enjoyable thread, I’m looking forward to the initial questions being answered πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

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Sorry Cath I couldn’t resist that one. In answer to your original question. I play the fiddle, live in Ireland and have a beard, had it since I was in my late twenties and am now in my mid sixties, I still have a good head of hair and not going grey yet. Quite a few musicians have beards here and its across the board as far as the instruments they play.

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Thank you Bernie, that was useful, and now I know that Bernie is not short for Bernadette πŸ™‚
Well, I’m off, so merry Xmas

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Cath … surely you’re jumping to conclusions, here!! If a Bernadette chooses to sport a magnificent flowing beard, then that’s her choice.

Happy New Year and have a good break …

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Wish this was a contest with a big money prize and a year ago.
At that time I hadn’t had a hair cut (or even a trim) in 31 years.
I would have won hands down….and hair down.
Got it cut last year though, very short!!

Mary

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Dave, what do you mean by, "those silly "just round the mouth" growths that make their face look like a Rottweiler’s bottom?"
I think that describes me! (My beard just doesn’t grow up the sides of my face - there’s a link that includes a picture of me, posted for completely different reasons, on the "Magic Session Moments" thread a page or so back, if you’re interested).
Now I know why dogs are always trying to lick my face.
Mark

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Leftovers, Mark.