Bliss goes ballistic

Bliss goes ballistic

Two incidents from last nights session.

Someone borrowed the other bodhran players drum, and struggled to join in. Our DAGDAD guitar player left the table during this performance. On his return he told the owner of the drum to lock it into the boot of his car, and throw the keys in the nearby river to prevent a repeat. Amidst cries of "it’s Michael Gill" we wondered if this guitarists recent exposure to "pure drop" sessions had unhinged him. Mind you he was right.

Later on the Blissful one was playing "The Lonesome Boatman" on the whistle. We finish this by repeating the last line 3 times, leading to a dramatic, slow, lingering climax. (sorry, forgot what site I was on).

Anyway the "musicians", first hierarchy fiddler and fiddle, banjo, whistle, guitar playing accomplice, slowed down too soon, throwing everyone out of time, and ruining the tune. The Blissful one stopped playing, shouted "can you not f######g count", bounced the whistle of the floor, breaking the mouthpiece, and then twisted the whistle and neatly snapped it into two pieces.

Now this poses a few questions.
1. What would YOU have done
2. Is the strain of defending bodhrans getting to me, has M.G rattled me.
3. Am I becomming snobbish and intolerant.
4. Have I mellowed in old age because in the past I may have attempted to stick the whistle through the offending necks.
5. Is it too late for me to join "The Who" who used to smash up instruments.

It was a lovely whistle. Cost about £2.50, but had mellowed with age. Nowadays It costs about £3 to get a really good whistle, so I may be launching an appeal to raise funds. M.G and myself playing in Hampden Park should do the trick.

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1. I would have used somebody else’s whistle.
2. You have discovered that when music becomes your "job", it lessens your love for it, making you more foul-tempered than your average "recreational" musician.
3. I don’t have an answer for this, but your spelling is becomming rather careless.
4. Please, bb, tell me where your session is so I can give it a wide berth.
5. it’s not too late to *impersonate* the Who with a few close friends and go on an extensive "reunion" tour. No-one will know the difference as long as you’re over 50 and look like you’ve had a bit of rough living.

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Maybe you need to join a stress management class. I did and it`s done wonders for me.
Either that or drink yourself into a stupor, that way you wont notice or care what they do. I find vodka is a great mood stabilizer………………………………..

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They both sound like over-reactions to me, particularly the second one since you shouldn’t be bothering with what sounds like an arrangement (who plays a line 3 times at a session?). Where I am, the second one would probably make our sessioneers crack up with laughter as our spontaneous efforts at sensitivity imploded. Sorry about your whistle though. That happened to me once with a golf club and I learned my lesson.

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Maybe Michael should think twice next time he suggests bodhran players should learn a melody instrument. I’m sure he’d rather you’d have smashed up your bodhran.

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It’s always the whistlers, isn’t it? They seem so mild and unassuming, but then push them to the edge and watch out! … Bring a golf club to your next session, though, like Ian does. Much more effective weapon altogether.

Actually I have the same unreasonably negative feelings sometimes, but they’re driven by the very opposite of what you describe, Bliss. What gets me going (internally) is when the "arrangements" kick in. "Play reel abc slowly twice, then fast the next two times." "Fiddles the first time through, then flutes, than all of the instruments for the last go-around." Like I say my feellings are without reason (as feelings tend to be) and the rest of the team seems to enjoy the orchestrated stuff very much. I just prefer the spontaneous sets where you never know how they’ll turn out.

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If you ever find yourself about to yell at your fellow musicians, go to the bar and think about it first. If you still have the erge — go back to the table, calmly pack your bodhran and whistle and head for your home. If that doesn’t work, stay home next Sunday night.

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Wow! You uncharacteristically agreed with Michael Gill yesterday, music as a job isn’t good. Maybe that fractured the foundation of your universe. We need a topic here where you vehemently disagree with Michael to set things right again. The universe will be put back in order.

You may need to talk to the other session members as a peace making gesture. You may want to frame the broken whistle to put up on the wall as a reminder. When my sessions go wierd, I take shameless advantage of the pub’s offer for free sout or ale. I get mellow somewhere beyond a half gallon.

Maybe you need to dress up like "Animal," the drum playing muppet, get an old drum set and beat them up occasionally to get that instrument killer instinct out of your system. Best Wishes!

Zounds!

I’ve wanted to do what you did, many many many times. Just last week, this guy sits down and starts stomping his foot, right next to me, just about bounced me out of the stool. I stood up a few times to regain my balance, and glared at him, but he kept on stomping. His stomps were not even close to being on the beat (are they ever?), and then he decided to puntuate his stomps by syncopated clapping — all quite off the beat.

I called up Vinny and Tony, and they took care of him. It’ll never happen again.

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Right… there’s two parts to Bliss’s rant, my privious comments were directed to the second half. As far as the errant bodhran (borrower) player goes — your guitar player’s response was appropriate.

Hey Bliss, the questions on your post are about which part? Are you asking what our reaction would have been about the bodhran banger, or the Lonesome Boatman arrangement?

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I think the audience enjoyed the outburst, it was after all "entertainment".At least Bliss’s outburst last night only resulted in damage to his own instrument, unlike an occasion when the resident guitarist/singer "lost it" and nearly battered the banjo player with somebody elses guitar.

Please don’t encourage Bliss to drink, he certainly doesn’t need it!

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Re. the bodhran incident, MG may have a point!

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Your session is starting to sound like a wrestling on the telly with instruments. Maybe you need a shaman to do an exorcism of the place. I know some Native Americans that have bodhran like frame drums, chant and burn sage. Then there is a sweat lodge. When they’re done, you can try some Shiatsu massage. (am I politically correct with booze alternatives now?) O.K. Bodhran Bliss, I humbly retract my encouragement for drinking (hiccup-belch!). 😉

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I have to confess i too was present at last night’s shenanigans. Bliss is entirely correct in his assessment of the first incident, however i wish to exhonerate myself from any blame for slowing down the Lonesome Boatman. This lay entirely with the Guitar players present, I would second wotkey’s plea to have those who don’t have the pleasure of knowing bliss to stop encouraging him to drink as i think it would be wasted on him. (or he’d waste the entire pub, i’m not sure which??) I would also point out that the tin whistles are now not in Bliss’s possession so who knows where they could pop up?

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As a number of people have pointed out, I am not allowed to drink anymore. As for "Wreckin’" suggesting vodka, after two or three bottles of that you feel great until you go outside. Not recommended.

I liked Kerri’s line about Michael regretting his advice.

Wotkey is only annoyed because when the singer/guitarist tipped the banjo player onto the floor and attempted to bash his head in with a guitar, the guitar belonged to Wotkey. Well, our guitarist wasn’t stupid enough to use his own.

Jack, I have to pack up a guitar, mandolin, stand and a footrest(old age, something to do with my style of bodhran playing) and make sure the others mammy’s have come to collect them, apart from the guitar wielding singer, obviously. If I didn’t go they would fall apart. I am the manager, and trade union rep, which means I have meetings with myself at least twice a week. The poor wee darlings would be lost without me.

Comments are invited on all aspects, and what the hell is wrong with arranging the odd tune? Cuts out all those god awful bodhrans.

And Kerri, you would be welcome at our sessions anytime. We are really nice guys, just a bit tempermental. Genius does that to some.
P.S My spelling is quite good, my typing and patience are not.

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So, bb, let me get this straight. For a long time, despite barbs and scorn for playing the drum, for many a fortnight you have kept this mob in good time. When you were not there with your tipper in motion, thumping along, how could you possibly expect them to remain on track? Take a deep breath, explain next week that it was your passionate love of the music drove you to your extreme act, and be glad you weren’t playing an Abell, Copeland, Burke or other pricy whistle.

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B.B.: still have that Kazoo in your pocket? Next time, smash the Kazoo.

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Hang on a sec. I know that sarcasm and irony don’t play very easily in nerdy chat rooms, so can we just clear this up … I’m sorry if I’m being slow … "The Lonesome Boatman on the whistle with the last line 3 times, leading to a dramatic, slow, lingering climax"

Please tell me this is a wind up

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Bliss,
With all due respect, if anything at a session gets someone that angry, I’d say they are taking it **way** too seriously.

Whenever someone at our sessions is butchering a tune (usually one of the less experienced fiddlers) we just exchange knowing grins amongst each other, grit our teeth and wait for it to pass. Interestingly though is the fact that the only person that ever comes close to saying rude things is also the most experieced player in our group. Does that mean that the bettter you get, the more volitile you become?

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Realising I no longer had a whistle, I actually tried the first bit again, on the Kazoo. Seriously. Might save me £3.

Al Brown read my mind and posted my next post before me. I was going to point out that even I cannot play the whistle and drum at the same time, and without my phenomenal rhythm, they fell apart, as always. Thanks Al.

As for M.G, what can I say. I start the tune VERY slowly, speed it up to "Good, bad and Ugly" pace, and then have a dramatic slowing, as we repeat what I call the last three lines, probably so many bars or something. This allows for three very slow, lingering notes at the end. Now no two people in Norn Ireland play this tune in the same way. Michael, one is allowed to stray from the so called straight and narrow, as long as the rest know what is happening, and can count. Try it sometime, be a devil, liberate yourself from Na Gaelgoiri. You might even have a bit of fun.

As for hierarchy one JfiddlerH and his pathetic bleating "it wasn’t me", Wotkey says you weren’t even playing. Very professional.

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OK, you got me. It’s a wind up

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For the record, jfiddlerh was a "little" the worse for the black stuff on Sunday, so one shouldn’t trust his judgement on this particular incident. We have of course seen him in worse condition, but we’ll save that . for another discussion. 😉

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You should hear it with a bit of saxaphone, mind blowing.

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Whats a tipper?

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A happy punter?

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A truck or similar vehicle for tipping sand, gravel, etc onto the ground?
Trevor

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A tipper is someone that leaves money at the table in the restaraunt for the waitress. Then what’s a cipin?

Bodhran Bliss: give that plastic Kazoo a try. Get into a rant and slam it on the floor. My bet is it will bounce.

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<Lewis Carroll reference> There’s nothing like an Irish tune blown on a saxophone</Lewis Carroll reference>

Grey Larsen has some material on this in his flute and whistle book (no, I’m not making that up, at least not much anyway).

In any case BB, you’re supposed to carry around a prop whistle to break up, not actually break up a real whistle. Get one of the Clare two piecers. Your techs and roadies will reassemble it for you after a show. Knowing how to do that is why you pay them the big money.

KFG

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Thanks KFG. First time I came across a two piece I threw it away because I thought it was broken.

Just remembered Ian Clark. "who plays a line three times at a session?"
I do. You got a problem with that…..

You’d need to hear it to understand. You know imagine a song ending "as we walked through field’s of gold, as we walked through fields of gold, as we waaaaalkeeeed through fields of gold" Now do the same with the "Loan us some blow man". See what I mean. M.G will explain all I have no doubt.

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keri..

"becoming"


…sorry…

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oops


"kerri"

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That’s "Oops!" and "Kerri."

KFG

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"Oops Kerri!" is not a complete sentence.

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What did the Pink Panther say when he stood on a Spelling/Grammar troll?

Pedant pedant, pedant, pedant pedant pedant, pedant pedaaaaant, peda peda pedant…

*bow*

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Boo hiss boo.

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Everyone’s a critic 🙁

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I used to think that Slashdot was the native home on the web of the spelling Nazis (something about computer programmers). Then I came here. This is the first place I’ve seen where people will make multiple posts to try to correct a simple typo.

If you ever see me looking like a spelling Nazi you can be sure it’s a joke. I live in a glass house; and know it all too well.

""Oops Kerri!" is not a complete sentence. "

But "Oops!" and "Kerri." are, although degenerate in the mathematical sense (in the same way a circle is a degenerate ellipse).

KFG

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KFG: And if I start nitpicking back after a few posts about spelling/grammar, its a wind up. "Spelling Nazi" : it dud hav a wring too it. I’m learning new vocabulary here. Let me use my previous, newly learned word from this site: Am being accused of "sphincterizing" this thread?

The "Oops Kerri" degenerative elipse circle? Hmmm. This is getting a bit too Zenny for me. I will have to use "Oops Kerri" as a mantra and meditate on it. Be back soon with the result of my circular, eliptical degeneration.

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Sunny, I was using BB’s spelling from question 3. tongue > P) < cheek

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G.K Chesterton. Look under thread "Traditional Time Travel".

And yes, imitation is the highest form of flattery.

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Oh dear lord, this is getting silly now. Still dont know what a cement truck has got to do wth Irish music though………………?

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No problem Mr. Bliss. I meant to say "who snorts three lines at a session (while playing "Loan Us Some Blow Man")?" Not me for one.

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Kerri,


I know..that’s why I did that…

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Wreckin’, did you not think it was silly from the start.

And Ian Clark, I like it. New innovative ideas not bending the tradition too much, are always welcome. Snorting three lines at a session. Now I do like that idea.

I tried the idea about sticking peas up my nose but didn’t get any hit. Thanks again Ian.

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"sphincterizing"

Oooooooo, I missed that one. 🙂

"…did you not think it was silly from the start."

Personally I always think the big, flashing neon sign hung over most of your posts that read "I’m being very, very silly here" are a bit of a clue, but it seems some people never see that sign.

KFG

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You what?

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KFG: back from my meditation. Fell asleep. Didn’t get whacked by a Zen guy. I am definitely not being serious. I have been accused of many things, but that would be a rare one. Seriously.

Bodhran Bliss: Do we take each other seriously? Congratulations on the verbal-nattering tsunami you stimulated about ITM being for only Irish. 143 posts and counting. What’s the record?

The "Sphincterization" remark was not aimed in your (or any ) direction. A sphincterized spelling Nazi: my mental picture of that is Adolf Hitler hisself with a spell check device and a super wedgie.

Whistle Bliss a sweet little tune

Following the world’s admirable reaction to the Asian Tsunami Appeal i was thinking that on a smaller scale ITM musos could contribute to a fund to replace the Whistle that Bodhran Bliss broke on that fateful night. It comes with great sadness because the whistle in question was a particularly fine example of Taiwanese craftsmanship. I’m sure all those out there would agree that this unfortunate incident is one for which we all must assume responsibility and look forward to your heartwarming donations and comments.

PS: If you don’t donate anything he’ll just deduct it from my (extremely nominal) fee!

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Aren’t Taiwan whistles called Kazoos? (^: (^: (^: