WHO do you choose?

Which one of these simons would you be MOST happy to play with, if they showed up in your local pub to join the session?
And who would be LEAST welcome if it was up to you?
(I`m sure that we already all know ,or even are, at least one of them 😉

1.SIMON BODHRÁNJOKE: He loves his bodhrán, and he loves hearing himself playing it. (He`s quite sure that everybody else loves to play with him as well) The weekly session is the light in his life, nothing in the world is better than that, - and that`s why he shows up every single week, and plays along with every single tune, not matter what kind of tune it is. (And no matter if his drumming fits the tune at all, and no matter if he`s out of pace with the rest , because these small problem doesn`t excist in Simon Bodhránjokes brain, the only thing that ecxists is the bodhránlove in his heart)

2.SIMON ARROGANT: He`s extreemely good at playing his instrument! And everybody else should know that they`re not as good as him. He guess that they all agree on this, otherwise he`ll tell you with small hints. The music in the session has to be perfect all the time. If it isn`t, it will always be someone elses fault. If someone makes a mistake, he`ll not say anything about this directly, but he`ll at once look at the person in a way that leaves no doubt that he means that this musicdestroyer should never have come to the session at all and that he obviously just came to ruin the fun for the rest of the group.

3.SIMON SHY: He`s there, but you don`t really notice. Well, you notice that someone is sitting in the group, because you were just thinking that you wished that you had his chair. At the other hand, you might also sometimes notice that he`s there because he`s sitting almost outside of the group instead of in it. You might also notice that someone drinks one or two of the bearbottles that comes to the table from the bar. The only thing that you really don`t notice about him is actually his music. The reason for this is simply that he doesn`t play. His instrument is there, but either on his knee or not even up. After a couple of hours he takes it up, and plays along with one tune or two. Then it takes a couple of hours before he`s playing again. When someone is commenting this, he says that this is for the other musicians best, and that they shouldn`t be bottered by his playing, as his playing is probably not good enough for being heard.

4.SIMON NEO-TRAD: He`s so creative! He suddenly got this bright idea that the irish traditional music would sound alot better with an electric base as a grounding. And, luckily for the musicians at the local session, simon actually has a base and knows how to play it! He thinks that this sounds so good, that he plays along with every tune, and decides that the next time, he`ll bring his cello, and then his mouthorgan, and then he could make some bluesmoves and he`s got this perfect idea of how to go from a reel to something more bluesy! And, by the way, he also knows a couple of jigs on the saxophone!


Now I can`t think of any other simons.. (I didn`t choose that name for any particular reason by the way..)

The most welcome would be Simon Arrogant, because I would welcome a kindred spirit, and obviously if I was there he would no longer be the best player there, if you follow my drift.

The least welcome would be Simon Shy because you have just described our current banjo player, and I couldn’t tolerate another lazy so and so.

This is too hypothetical for me to comment.

Do you have something to share from personal experience that is motivating this post?

LOL -- Bliss, next time I come to Ireland, I am coming to your session. That’s just all there is to it.

I`m just curious Eliot, that`s my motivation. (Curious to see if all of you pick the same answers or if this is very individual) I wouldn`t call it a hypothetical question…they`re all out there, haven`t you met them yet? 🙂

But Ceolina, you’re just describing the tip of the iceburg.

Gee whiz Ceolina, you just described my session group. Are you psychic or something? 😉

Simple Simon, you forgot to mention him . .

I would not want any of them I don’t like Bodhran players who think they are needed, I hate arrogant people, if you bring an instrument atleast try to learn the tunes that are being played I can respect that but at the same time they are not bothering anyone, and finally if you want to be creative and play electric bass and cello and so on find a tolerante group of musicians and satart a band with them.

When I played bodhran at the local session I made up for not knowing any tunes by rolling everyone’s ciggies. 🙂

With your own herb? You might get invited to a lot of sessions with this advertisement.

😉

unseen122:“I don’t like Bodhran players who think they are needed, I hate arrogant people” Haha! 😉

We had a “roller” at our session for a while. Three skins, the ingredients, those were the days.

Dear Unseen i22,

My son can play all sorts of weird instruments to ITM, electric guitar, bass, kazoo etc, want to join a band?

Bass

probably

Can’t we have any other Simons to choose from? What about Simon who knows most of the tunes played in the session, and plays them at a moderate pace with clear notes, a good strong rhythm and the odd bit of variation, and when he doesn’t know a tune, sits back and listens? Or Simon who doesn’t have a big repertoire and isn’t a great technician, but plays some unusual local variants of tunes with a distinctive style and a lot of heart? Or Simon who plays subtle, unobtrusive guitar backing and sings an occasional, carefully chosen song when asked?

All right, they may not all be called Simon, but such people do exist.

What about Simon Classical?

Ooohh yeah ‘ Simon Classical’ is my least favourite - obviously not all out there, but the ones who blow into a session and think ‘hey everyone look at me, I play for the sydney symphony and gee I’m fabulous’ eeekkk.

My favourite would be ‘Simon Arrogant’ The thing I hate most in the word is ‘Tune Wreckers’ at least Simon arrogant wouldnt be a Tune wrecker. Anyhow Ive heard so many rumours about ‘so and so who is sooo bitchy blah blah’ and when you actually meet them they are sound. I think alot of the time when people are intimidated by someones playing they get it in their head that they are snobby etc when they arent, they just may not want to hold beginers hands. Fair enough too.

the bodhran guy is just doing what people do at sessions and plugging along. Fair play.
Arrogant fella is at most sessions. Come to think of it, the bastard’s everywhere… doing anything that you do better than you! Fact. We all hate him but I’m sure he hates one somewhere else and I imagine most of us are hated as one somewhere, doing something.
Shy bloke… didn’t see him. These fellas are okay. Maybe he doesn’t want to be noticed!
Neo-trad is the only one I’ve got a problem with. The man should be shot! I simply can’t think of an excuse for this clown. Put your saxophone, cello, rain-shaker, didgeridoo, cow horn, unicycle and your funny red nose back in the car and do one!
Job done!

I’d have Simon Arrogant anyday, merely because he’s the best player. And besides, his arrogance would’t last long in my neck of the woods, he’s get it kicked out out of him

How about Simon who knows only three tunes - usually waltzs - and bursts into them at every opportunity like a nut with a submachine gun. This is the Simon who drives me insane!! Although I have a problem with Simon Shy aswell, OK for the first few nghts but please get the finger out and either contribute or move on…..obviously I am Simon Intolerant!!

I am really going to enjoy Edinburgh on 1st-3rd July. They must have dug William Wallace up.

SIMON SIMPLE: Plays a hand full of tunes well enough to carry the bunch…plays dozens of others well enough to follow…knows the notes used in thousands of others but will play those tunes quietly or muted as so nobody notices he’s missing from the tune…but sits out compltely when he doesn’t know any of the tune at all……Loves the music passionately and you can see this by the contented smile and gratitude when he hears the turn arounds come together 🙂 And last of all loves pints and every last pure drop out of a shot glass as much as he loves music, friendship and Ireland.

I’m not fond of the arrogant guy at all…so definitely wouldn’t want to play with him. The shy Simon doesn’t sound too bad.

I change my answer…I wanna hang out with Simon Simple.

What about Simone?

SIMON CHANTERED EVENING: Plays so fast that half the session has to sit out on tunes that they know and usually enjoy playing at normal tempos. The other half get cramps in their hands and arms.

GROOOOAAANN!

Frankly, I’m not crazy about any of them. To that end, when I teach Bodhran, I make a clear point of teaching the Do’s and Don’ts of playing in Seissuns.
I have come up against all of these folks (we all have). And to be fair, I have even been one or two of them at some time. But that is how I learned not to be them.
But this is a folk tradition, it has evolved and grown as each of us brings something to the table.
What I cannot abide, more than any other is the Sessiun Nazi: the player who has decided what ITM is and is not and behaves as if no one has any business being there if they are not of a like mind.
No, I don’t like playing with overly aggressive Bodhran players who do not understand their role. No, I do not like playing with arrogant players who want to be the Star. No, I do not like playing ITM with a budding Charlie Parker. But the strength of this tradition is its ability to withstand and even incorporate new ideas without losing the thread of the tradition. Look at all the non-traditional instruments that we accept in the circle. If you want to argue how many fairies can dance on the head of a pin, the only real traditional instrument in Irish music is the human voice. Everything else came afterwards.
As for being shy, I do not fault anyone for being shy in the circle; it is the job of a good Seissun leader to encourage these people and maybe find tunes they might like to play. If someone isn’t playing much, ask him or her if there are any tunes THEY would like to play.

Music isn’t what we play; it’s what happens between us.

SIMON STOCK: Venerable session member, who has been at it so long they actually own stock in the tunes… given to them by the original song writers. This member has the ability to lead any set as well as strongly support any other SIMON at the table. (proficient or otherwise.) STOCK is a natural teacher and does so exclusively by example. Is close friends with SIMON TEMPLAR: Who also Exemplifies these same traits and who additionally is a stern supporter and protector of ITM.

Bodhran players who do not understand their role? What, are there rules and regulations at sessions nowadays, with roles, and probably a rotation system, or zonal defence system? My rectum.

ALL players at a session have but one mission, to contribute to or enhance the music. That’s it. ALL players, especially those bloody fiddlers who always have to compete with each other, should be striving towards this aim.

Now you can also chat, drink, indulge in herbal substances, pull a man/woman, start a row, or whatever, but the above should be the musical role for ALL.

Did I say ALL three, now four, times? Got it.

What about Simone, the modest but talented and fetching concertina player?

It seems apparent then that you and your rectum are an exception to the rule.

i choose the one that’s sitting next to me . . .

because that’s the nearest you’re going to get

“SIMON TEMPLAR: Who also Exemplifies these same traits and who additionally is a stern supporter and protector of ITM.”

Not to mention being an international man of mystery.

KFG

In my experience all the dodgy Simons are a minority and most sessioneers are fairly well centred individuals. And I’ve had great fun playing with most of them.
That said despite me crying wolf in the past.
Added to the list may be Thomas the doubter, who never seems to be happy that the session might have achieved messianic status. Judas who reneged on his session mates. Paul who was converted to Sessionianity on the Road to Belfaskus, and thereafter changed the Teaching to suit Gentle people….


and so on…

I’d plump for SIMON THE ELECTRONIC GAME - You can never predict what note he’s going to play next.