Monty Campbell

tunebook 95 tunes.

tune sets 19 sets of tunes.

Recent Virginia Tech Graduate in the Blacksburg area (Go Hokies!). I play lots of Irish, Scottish, and Old-Time tunes. I currently play mandolin, anglo concertina, guitar, tenor banjo, 5-string banjo, and low-D whistle (my favorite is the banjo). If not evident by my list of banjo jokes on this profile description, I enjoy telling banjo and session-related jokes. These relatively harmless jokes seem to get Jeremy all butthurt, so I keep them all here where he can’t see them.
DISCLAIMER: Just because I like cracking banjo jokes does _not_ mean I dislike the banjo. Once a banjo player, always a banjo player.
DISCLAIMER: Just because I make banjo jokes at sessions (and they’re accepted there) does not mean that it’s okay to post them on the discussions page. Jeremy does not appreciate posting these in the forums, so they stay here, where nobody ever sees them ;) . I strongly recommend refraining from instrument bashing on the forums, cause, while it is appreciated by almost everybody, some people (COUGH COUGH JEREMY COUGH COUGH) get really butthurt for no reason because they can’t take a goddamn joke.

Some banjo jokes:

What is Mark Twain’s definition of a gentleman?
A man who can play the banjo but don’t.

What’s the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
You tie a rope to an anchor before you toss it into the water!

How can you tell if a stage is level?
If the banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth!

What do you call a pretty girl on a banjo player’s arm?
A tattoo.

What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
Will the defendant please rise.

A banjo player and a guitarist are in a car. Who’s driving?
The cops!

How many banjo players does it take to eat a possum?
Two! One to eat it, and the other to watch for cars!

You’re driving down a street and you see a banjo and an accordian -- which do you run over first?
The accordian. Business before pleasure.

What do you call a perfect pitch?
When you pitch a banjo into a dumpster and it lands on a accordion!

A skunk and a banjo are lying at different points on highway, and both have been hit by motor vehicles. What’s the difference between the skunk and the banjo?
The skunk has skid marks before it!

What are you supposed to do if you accidentally run over a banjo?

(for more banjo jokes, find me at a nearby session)